Lee  Culpepper

In all fairness, maybe liberals are just legally insane -- repeating the same mistakes over and over again. Despite the continued failure of their unwavering do-gooder policies, liberals refuse to recognize the errors within their detrimental beliefs.

Liberal politicians generally have not suffered any consequences for their love crimes either. But the time has come for liberals to pay for all their love transgressions. Ironically, sentencing them to exactly what they want might be the justice they deserve.

President Bush spoke last week about the future of Cuba. As Fidel Castro inches ever closer to fertilizing palm trees, maybe we could negotiate shipping the liberals off to the People’s Paradise of Cuba. We could then more easily juxtapose their policies with Castro’s. Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid could talk about how easily their version of the State Children’s Insurance Program would integrate with the wonderful public health care that already exists in Cuba – according to future-Cuban Michael Moore, of course.

And since Senator Hillary Clinton and President Jimmy Carter epitomize love crime offenders, the two of them should be sentenced to eternity together. Unfortunately for Bill, this would be one tryst he would have to sit out. (Hopefully, he would still move to Cuba though.) His exclusion from Cuban politics would simply be due to his idea of love crimes not fitting the legal definition.

Best of all, with Hillary and Jimmy in charge of Cuba, they would not need any of the evil profit that motivates big corporations to constantly improve technology. Liberals would be effervescent if we just dropped off legal marijuana and condoms every week. With everything they need in Cuba, liberals would be free to legislate 100 laws regarding how everyone can live at the expense of everyone else. And they could encapsulate all these positions under one more symbolic law, which would make it legal for all of them to die happy -- as they love each other to death.

Lee Culpepper

Lee Culpepper has served the United States as a Marine officer and less formerly as an undaunted-non-liberal English teacher and a substitute dad. The cultural divide Lee battled from leading Marines to motivating teenagers mired in public schools laid the foundation for his social and political commentary. Contact Lee Culpepper on Twitter @drcoolpepper or by email at drcoolpepper@gmail.com.