Larry Elder

Sen. Clinton, why does former New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer have better taste in his mistresses than your husband?

Sen. Obama, black former general manager and coach Isiah Thomas was recently fired. During Thomas' two-year tenure, his team went 33-49 one season, and 23-59 the next -- a franchise record-tying number of losses. A Knicks employee sued for sexual harassment, with the organization reportedly settling the case for $11.5 million. What steps will you take to get Thomas' job back?

Sen. Clinton, in the event you and your husband return to the White House, would you make, to the American people, one solemn promise: all male interns?

Sen. Obama, singer Alicia Keys says the government invented gangsta rap. She said it causes black rappers to kill each other, thus preventing the emergence of another "great black leader" like Tupac Shakur. Does this make Reverends Jackson and Sharpton insecure about their status as "great black leaders," since the government allows them to remain alive?

Sen. Clinton, for her low-rated newscast, CBS' Katie Couric earns $15 million, more than her two network rivals. Since you support equal pay for equal work, should the Justice Department prosecute Couric?

Sen. Obama, whom do you consider angrier at America? Your former pastor, Jeremiah Wright, or your wife, Michelle?

Sen. Clinton, you said that you intend to return civility to the White House. Following that theme, what can you do as president to ensure that Britney Spears always wears panties?

Sen. Obama, Canada, the United States and Mexico are contiguous countries. Yet you insist that NAFTA, the North American Free Trade Agreement, causes companies to ship jobs overseas. Will you, before the American people, tell us the grade you received in high school geography?

Sen. Clinton, you say that you intend to fight the war on terror differently than President George W. Bush. There is a rumor that you intend to tell Islamofascists that the 72 brown-eyed virgins all look like former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright. Is this true -- I mean about the rumor?

Sen. Obama, if a tree falls in a forest and lands on a black lumberjack, does Al Sharpton make a sound?

Feel free to use any or all, Charlie. Again, no charge.

Larry Elder

Larry Elder is a best-selling author and radio talk-show host. To find out more about Larry Elder, or become an "Elderado," visit