Larry Elder

Microsoft chairman Bill Gates says that the United States should reform its immigration laws to make it easier to attract highly skilled foreign workers. Gates said scientists and engineers from India and China who work for Microsoft waited more than five years to get their U.S. green cards. Five years! This suggests the technology gap between Mexico and America is closing -- because you can go to downtown Los Angeles and get a green card from an illegal alien in less than 45 minutes.

The Associated Press reports that boxing promoter Don King got a front-row seat at Pope Benedict XVI's general audience. "I was thrilled to be there," said King. "It was a deep spiritual experience." During his papal visit, King reportedly offered the pope Los Vegas hotel reservations and a ticket to the big May 5 fight between Floyd Mayweather and Oscar De La Hoya at the MGM Grand. The pope's seat would be in the second row -- right behind King. The pontiff reportedly said, "Throw in the Bob Hope suite, get a haircut, and I'm there."

The last charges against three Duke University lacrosse players, originally indicted for rape, will reportedly be dropped soon. Sources expect a withdrawal of the assault and attempted kidnapping charges against Collin Finnerty, 19, Dave Evans, 23, and Reade Seligmann, 20. This is actually good news for North Carolina's Durham County District Attorney Mike Nifong -- whose wife said, "Only this morning he crawled out from beneath his bed."

Following Al Gore's appearance at last week's global warming hearings, concerned viewers came up with a suggestion as to how the former vice president can reduce his environmental footprint -- drop 30 pounds.

The New York Post said Rudy Giuliani's wife, Judith, revealed that Rudy isn't her second husband, but her third. "Something I will share with you is that, since I haven't done [many] interviews . . . Rudy and I have both been married three times." That's a total of six marriages. But a spokesperson for the Giuliani campaign assured his conservative supporters that "All the marriages were, in fact, heterosexual."

The entertainment-news website TMZ reports that actor/director Mel Gibson exploded in anger when, during a college campus question-and-answer session, a professor accused him of racism in his depiction of Mayans in his movie "Apocalypto." The professor accused Gibson of unfairly depicting Mayans as bloodthirsty. An angry Gibson exploded and said, "Lady, [bleep] off!" Gibson's publicist later said the professor misunderstood Gibson, and that "Lady, [bleep] off" was actually Mayan for "You don't say!"

More news later . . .

Larry Elder

Larry Elder is a best-selling author and radio talk-show host. To find out more about Larry Elder, or become an "Elderado," visit