Larry Elder

Morris: Yeah, pound on Condi Rice and Colin Powell. Call 'em "house negroes" -- you know, sellouts.

Obama: But I respect Condi and Colin.

Morris: Okay, how about this? Get yourself in trouble with the feds. Say you've been unfairly targeted by the Justice Department. Then commit perjury and obstruction of justice, and accuse The Man of trying to bring a good man down.

Obama: What?!?!

Morris: Worked for Clinton.

Obama: It did?

Morris: Are you kidding me? After Clinton's trouble with Whitewater/Lewinsky, his popularity rating with blacks went from 60 percent in '97 to 85 percent in '98.

Obama: But --

Morris: You gotta remember, Toni Morrison called Clinton the "first black president." So the Lewinsky thing was about "The Establishment" trying to stop "Brother Clinton" from looking out for the black man.

Obama: That's nuts.

Morris: Okay, how 'bout this? Cut a commercial like the one the former head of Chrysler, Lee Iacocca, did with rapper Snoop Dogg. But instead, use Fitty Cent.

Obama: Fifty Cents?

Morris: No, Fitty.

Obama: Fifty?

Morris: No, Fitty.

Obama: Fifty?

Morris: No, Fitty. See, that's the problem. You say "Fifty" when it's "Fitty." No street cred.

Obama: But --

Morris: All right, all right. Remember Marion Barry, the former mayor of D.C.?

Obama: Yeah.

Morris: Cops caught him on videotape smoking crack. When they bust in, he said about the woman he was with, "The bitch set me up." He does a little jail time, gets out, blames The Man and gets elected to the D.C. Council. Then he runs and gets re-elected mayor. That, my man, is street cred.

Obama: Did you have anything to do with that?

Morris: Well, I don't like to brag, but --

Obama: I don't think my wife --

Morris: Look, you don't want to play the race card on Katrina. You like Condi and Colin. Your wife won't like this and that. Tell you what, call me back when you get serious. Talk to you later, Barack. Gotta grab this other call --


Morris: Senator Clinton! How you doing? It's been ages! . . . What? . . . You want my advice on keeping the black vote? Well, I don't want to brag, but --

Larry Elder

Larry Elder is a best-selling author and radio talk-show host. To find out more about Larry Elder, or become an "Elderado," visit