Teacher: Student-to-Student Massages Will Cure Bullying

Kyle Olson

11/28/2012 12:01:00 AM - Kyle Olson

California-based educator Thea Blair has just the solution to school bullying: peer massages. Or more specifically, “massage of children by classmates on the upper body while clothed and with consent,” EAGnews.org reported.

Blair believes peer massages “can be a powerful antidote to bullying in schools,” according to Massage Magazine. There’s no word on what a massage policy, particularly at the middle or high school level, might mean for teen pregnancy rates.

Blair says peer massage “is gaining recognition in Europe for anti-bullying and social inclusion.”

She’s hoping to raise $8,000 to produce a documentary on the subject. She’s also hoping to bring attention to a group, called “Child 2 Child,” which promotes a “short daily massage routine for the hand or the back or [neck], head or shoulders, which helps to build up emotional resilience and a ‘feel good’ factor in children.”

Don’t we have enough “feel good” initiatives in schools? Do we really need students to start groping each other more than they already do?

Some schools in Georgia are forbidden from giving students a zero. Some teachers are using purple pens for grading because red ink is too harsh for students and purple is a more “approachable.” U.S. students have been lulled into thinking they’re the best while the results say otherwise.

Nutty (European!) theories about inclusion and emotional resilience are the last thing American students need right now. They’re been coddled too much by politically correct educators more concerned about feelings than academic results.

Massage Magazine quotes the National Education Association as writing, “More pervasive and lethal today than in the past, bullying exacts a terrible toll on the overall school community— targets, perpetrators, and bystanders—robbing students of their opportunities to learn and inflicting emotional scars that can last a lifetime.”

It’s hard to believe students getting touchy-feely during class time will do anything to change that. If anything it could lead to more problems, as overexcited teens may not be happy to settle for a simple massage.

It might also cause kids to be less focused on their school work and fare worse on their assignments.

This is really just a very bad idea, all the way around.