Kurt  Schlichter

For Chris Matthews, how about stuffing his stocking with some pills to take care of that leg tingle? Or are stockings racist? Maybe put them under the tree, or are trees racist too? Gee, shopping for liberals must be hard.

Here’s the perfect gift for those wonky, leftist twenty-somethings who routinely weigh in on public policy from the perspective of their vast life experience: Some life experience.

Now, back to politics.

For President Obama, I hope Santa brings him the courage to stay the course on Obamacare. Don’t change a thing, Mr. President. People will soon see that it was really their fault for having believed your repeated, unequivocal promises. They’ll be thrilled to be tossed off those old policies they didn’t know were terrible and to lose their current doctors, all for the chance to try to sign up for Obamacare-compliant plans that give worse coverage at twice the price provided by doctors who practice out of vans down by the river.

For America, I would ask Santa to deliver a Republican Senate in 2014. I yearn to see corrupt hack Harry Reid sputtering in frustration as Majority Leader Mitch McConnell kicks him and his soon-to-be minority cronies right in the filibuster.

And yeah, McConnell’s going to win the primary and then he’s going to beat that liberal chick with three names, so we might as well accept it. A Tea Party upset in Kentucky may be near the top of our letters to Santa, but then so is a pony and we aren’t getting that either.

Now, people may be wondering what I would like for Christmas, and if they aren’t they should be. Well, the liberals infesting Twitter certainly think I’m on the “Naughty” list for my stubborn and shameless advocacy of personal responsibility, fiscal sanity and America.

Still, I’d welcome coal in my stocking. I strongly support the exploitation of the bountiful energy resources that God bestowed upon our beautiful nation. Plus, I like bald eagles and don’t think they should be cuisinarted by ugly windmills just so Democrat donors can get even richer off government subsidies.

I wish liberals would just once show some concern for our natural environment. But then, bald eagles are the symbol of a powerful, unapologetic America. No wonder the liberals hate them.

Now, if you really want to give a gift to someone deserving, how about sending a few bucks to the folks at Wounded Warrior Project? After all, those heroes have already given us much more.

Kurt Schlichter

Kurt Schlichter (Twitter: @KurtSchlichter) was personally recruited to write conservative commentary by Andrew Breitbart. He is a successful Los Angeles trial lawyer, a veteran with a masters in Strategic Studies from the United States Army War College, and a former stand-up comic.