Can You Feel the Fear in DC? Now Let’s Increase It.

Kurt Schlichter

10/7/2013 12:02:00 AM - Kurt Schlichter

What if they gave a shutdown and no one cared? The only people terrified, horrified and mortified by the so-called “government shutdown” seem to be hack politicians and whiny little trolls writing in the Beltway-Manhattan pinkosphere.

D.C. is scared, and that’s good. It’s about time that the regulatory Boomtown felt the same boom lowered upon it as its tyranny has lowered upon the rest of the country.

I wish I could say that the Republicans were completely united because they know that we need to turn this Titanic around before it slams into another iceberg and defeat the guy on the bow shouting “I’m the King of the World!” But, sadly, too many so-called “conservatives” are afraid they won’t get to keep enjoying the luxury cabins they think they’ve earned.

Let’s extend the metaphor – real conservatives want to replace the bloated cruise liner that is the federal government with a sleek, heavily-armed destroyer. We want the Gophers, Isaacs and Julies of the Beltway bureaucracy to leave the Unloved Boat for jobs in the private sector. And, after the last five years, we would prefer a President Stubing.

The closed-door Senate GOP piranha feeding frenzy against Ted Cruz and Mike Lee was indicative. Their sin was, of course, actually doing what they promised their constituents they would do and fighting for conservative principles. This scandalized the go-along, get-along gang in the World’s Lamest Deliberative Body – Cruz and Lee made the frauds look even more fraudulent than usual.

The Establishment is lashing out in fear, and its mainstream media lackeys are frothing at the mouth. To the extent one could ever tell apart the soul-crushingly dull, rote-writing, utterly predictable, droning liberals voices from on high like E.J. Dionne, Charles Blow, Eugene Robinson, Ezra Klein, Paul Krugman, Jonathan Chait, and Matty Yglesias, you sure can’t now. They are unanimous; the GOP is “insane,” “crazy” and generally nuts. Why, it’s almost as if there is some kind of “journalist list” though which leftist strategists distribute coordinated talking points.

Thomas Friedman alone stands out from the crowd, and that’s only because he’s too goofy to realize that his eager embrace of one-party rule is way too obvious. Didn’t anyone tell him to never, ever go full fascist?

This is all the result of fear, fear on the part of our opponents that their carefully constructed, comfortable little world if going to come tumbling down. So now we need to give them even more reason to be afraid.

The campaign to retake the federal government begins with our farm team, where we develop and grow good candidates to eventually send to D.C. and scuttle the sinking ship of the welfare state.

The conservative farm team serves three purposes. First, we can build federal candidates who have some prior experience in government and have a grasp on what they need to do – no more bored rich guys who think it might be neat to buy a Senate seat.

They also get some experience in the apparently neglected art of answering questions in a manner that doesn’t make them look like bleeping idiots. If you get asked about your stand on rape – and some leftist is absolutely going to ask you about your stand on rape – you need to be able to articulate a response that makes it clear that you are against it.

Second, a few seasons in the minors helps screen out the weirdoes, losers and perverts. It you turn out to have a background in, say, witchcraft, it’s a lot better if that revelation comes out when you’re a local water commissioner than, I dunno, when you’re running for a winnable Senate seat in Delaware.

If you’ve left a trail of bankruptcies, perhaps it’s be nice if that little challenge had come up when you were running for city council instead of for Congress.

Oh, and if you like to hang out in airport toilets foot-tap trolling for short-term relationships, it’s best that this lifestyle option be evaluated by the voters while you are serving as the local dog catcher instead of sitting in the House.

Third, and perhaps most important, it gives us a chance to see if you are really conservative. No more John McCains, no more Bob Corkers, no more Lindsay Grahams. No more fooling the voters with the old “hardcore at home, squish in D.C.” scam. We need to take the “con” out of “conservative.”

We need to put our money where our mouths are. I am. In the nearby city of Hermosa Beach, I just contributed the maximum to my friend Kit Bobko, who is running for mayor of that fine seaside burg on a pro-business, pro-liberty, pro-fiscal sanity platform. Kit’s a lawyer – nobody’s perfect – but he’s an Air Force Academy grad who can string a sentence together and who can project a common-sense conservatism in a deep blue area in a way that brings in new voters rather than drives them away. Let’s get folks like Kit in place in local offices, see if they prove themselves, and then we can send them off to Washington confident that they won’t embarrass us and that they are who they say they are.

That’s what should really terrify the D.C. mandarins, the fact that the counter-reaction to the leftist swing in Washington has inspired a bunch of people like Kit to get into politics at the local level. The Washington establishment imagines that only it matters. It’s so busy worrying about this temporary, fake shutdown that it doesn’t even realize that we conservatives are out here in the hinterlands planting the seeds of its destruction.