Kurt  Schlichter

Like so many normal Americans, I recently discovered twerking, and true to the intent of its practitioners, it blew my bourgeois mind.  No, not because of its transgressive rejection of traditional values like modesty and dignity but because, until then, I had always thought sexuality was supposed to be sexy.

The tiresome antics of former Disney princess Miley Cyrus exemplifies a larger phenomenon.  Liberalism, in our culture and in our politics, is figuratively twerking all normal Americans.  And it is up to us to fight back.

Regular authoritarians are content to simply be obeyed; they don’t care what you think or feel as long as no one rushes their palace with pitchforks and torches.  But liberals want more – they want to control your mind.  They aren’t satisfied until you love Big Brother.  They seek to do this by destroying our values and our norms, leaving us empty vessels without the support of morality or tradition or religion.

They want to leave us no alternative to their poisonous ideology.  Hence, they must destroy what we normal Americans hold dear.  They must wave their lies in our faces in order to force us to accept them.  They break our spirit when we submit; the indignity and humiliation of jettisoning what we believe is meant to leave us powerless subjects before our liberal masters.  Hence, the twerking.

 It is not so much the literal twerking that is the threat – Americans still have enough collective common sense to react to Miley Cyrus’s festival of daddy issues with the mockery it deserved.  But we have fallen far – it’s sad that normal Americans feel they dodged a bullet because simulated sodomy was not greeted with general acclaim.

It’s the figurative twerking that’s the danger, the everyday, never-ending assault on normalcy that we constantly face.  Look at our popular culture – we have a president who eagerly cavorts with modern day minstrels whose raps are punctuated with words like “bitch” and “ho.”  Yet, without irony, he and his allies then accuse us of a “War on Women.”

TV shows and movies celebrate the same chaos-ridden lifestyles that generate the kind of helpless, hopeless losers eager to vote for candidates offering them a few food stamps and maybe a cell phone in exchange for their serfdom.  Families?  Who needs them?  Why, Hollywood teaches us that opting for single motherhood is as good for kids as any other familial arrangement – just pay no attention to the statistics behind the curtain, or to what your own experiences have shown you.

Who needs families anyway?  Your liberal masters will provide, but only if you swear your loyalty.  Remember, normal Americans, freedom is slavery.

They twerk America on race.  We know racism is a shadow of its former self, the Democrat segregationists of the past having been long defeated.  We know that “racial incidents” and “hate crimes” on college campuses are always – always – committed by devoted liberals frustrated by their inability to find any actual racism and driven to invent it.

They turn the shooting of a “thug life” aficionado who was smashing the head of a Hispanic citizen he profiled as a male “rapist” into proof positive that white racism is alive and well.  They hold a rally to spread the notion that America has not changed one iota since the likes of Democrat activist Bull Connor beat civil rights protestors.  Hey, I have a dream too – that someday a liberal will ask America’s only black senator and America’s only black Supreme Court justice what they think.  Oh wait, they weren’t invited. 

Liberal icons harass women, but it’s okay because they’re “huggers.”  They leave women to drown in the bottom of ponds, but that’s okay – they dig abortion.  And the liberals revel in their hypocrisy. 

Aided by their eager slaves in the mainstream media, they twerk us, waving their lies in our faces and demanding we submit and accept them.  We were told that, “If you like you insurance, you’ll be able to keep it,” but this was never true and everyone knew it was a lie.  No one outside normal Americans and their few renegade media outlets called the emperor on his new clothes.

A trillion dollars borrowed from our grandkids for a hideous “stimulus” that went straight into the pockets of liberal constituencies!  You’ve been twerked!  A tax increase on people who actually produce something so even more money can be transferred to Democrat voters who don’t?  You’ve been twerked!  Rights of free speech, religious conscience, to keep and bear arms, to be secure from unreasonable searches?  America, you have been twerked!

Hell, even the Republican establishment is on the verge of twerking itself out of not just recapturing the Senate but out of keeping the House with its flurry of lies and dissembling about immigration.  Marco Rubio was our fresh-faced Hannah Montana, but after his shameful campaign of line blurring aimed at conservatives he’s now just a GOP Miley Cyrus rubbing on Chuck Schumer.

The proper response to a literal twerker is, “Get that thing out of my face.”  The proper response from normal Americans to the liberalism’s figurative twerkers is a good, swift kick. 



Kurt Schlichter

Kurt Schlichter (Twitter: @KurtSchlichter) was personally recruited to write conservative commentary by Andrew Breitbart. He is a successful Los Angeles trial lawyer, a veteran with a masters in Strategic Studies from the United States Army War College, and a former stand-up comic.