Katie Kieffer

5.) Resolve to buy property. I don’t care if all you can afford is a plot the size of a doghouse. Buy some land and hold it. Experience ownership first-hand and you will finally get upset when the federal government tries to violate your Fourth Amendment rights through the use of domestic drones.

6.) Resolve to travel to Europe. You’ll realize that public transportation is not all it’s cracked up to be. When you return home, you will have a new appreciation for wide, open spaces and the freedom to drive cars bigger than a Power Wheels Barbie Jammin’ Jeep Wrangler.

7.) (For liberal ladies) Resolve to let a guy open a door for you. Accepting this small act of chivalry is actually empowering—not demeaning—because it shows that you appreciate respect from males.

8.) (For liberal guys) Resolve to be a man. Enough said.

9.) Resolve to protest a stupid rule. Men are imperfect and therefore human laws are not inherently good; the United States has many laws on the books that violate natural law. Only God can make perfect rules. So, before you blindly follow a federal law, ask yourself: “Will I be doing the right thing by following this rule?” If your answer is “no,” protest the rule because it is probably immoral.

10.) Resolve to save endangered babies. Stop fretting about endangered animals in a rainforest thousands of miles away and realize that babies are endangered in your own back yard. Stop supporting federal funds for Planned Parenthood; encourage your friends to respect life.

11.) Resolve to tell President Obama to bring the troops home. If you hate war so much, why don’t you pressure Obama to pull the troops out of the Middle East?

12.) Resolve to read the Steve Jobs biography by Walter Isaacson. Jobs is your hero; you love Apple products; and you wouldn’t think of attending an Occupy Wall Street Protest without your iPad. But Jobs was a capitalist. He despised collectivism (see page 39) and he wanted politicians to reduce taxes and regulations and stop pushing the false notion that everyone needs a four-year college degree (see pages 544-546).

Happy 2013 to liberals one and all!

Katie Kieffer

Katie Kieffer is the author of a new book published by Random House, LET ME BE CLEAR: Barack Obama’s War on Millennials and One Woman’s Case for Hope.” She writes a weekly column for Townhall.com. She also runs KatieKieffer.com.