And, though we don't always admit it, sex is an emotional surrender, too. If you're a prayerful type, it has a spiritual component -- which should add a whole additional level of intimacy and wonder. The point is: There are a lot of reasons to slow down when sex seems like a good idea -- especially if you're young, especially if you don't know whether he's that into you, especially if you're not married. And most of all, especially if you're not doing it out of love but something else -- like fear or insecurity or curiosity or boredom.
Likewise, when we see the next interview with the much-discussed mother of the California octuplets, we shouldn't be asking, "Why did she have so many?" "Is she crazy?" Or "What's wrong with that doctor?" (Well, we can ask those, too.) We should instead inquire: "How did we come this far, and how do we take a step back?" In the wake of this case -- and in this age of rapid reproductive advantages -- even liberal feminists have begun to question the unregulated aspects of the fertility industry. This is the dark flipside of treating unborn babies as disposable objects; viewing them as items to be acquired in bulk, at your convenience. Big families can be great blessings, and that fact should not be lost as the media puts one mother under a microscope. But how she got to that maternity bed shines a bright light on where we are -- blessed with great technology but lacking any sense how to best use it for the sake of our human dignity.
As Michaelene Fredenburg, who founded the Web site www.abortionchangesyou.com will remind us, one-in-three women in the United States has had an abortion by age 45. That's not good. But when even a glossy women's magazine can see -- between the cosmetic ads -- that there is something wrong, it's a sign that although we've begun to settle comfortably into a Brave New World, we can still see the door we entered and can still turn around. And that suggests a far, far better thing: hope.