Church Lady: Because your eyes are popping out of your head.
John McCain: Excuse me.
Mike Huckabee: Thank you, Enid, if I may. And I wish I could take every minute of your generous offer to explain why I am the only real Christian standing on this stage, to tell the good people of Iowa and evangelicals everywhere why I -- and not Mitt Romney -- am The One, but I do have to part the Red Sea later today and so will have to cut my remarks short.
Let me just say, though, that I am really very sorry I ever mentioned the Jesus-Satan thing to that New York Times reporter, who took those words among 8,000 and made it sound like I was trying to remind voters that Mormonism is a false religion. I wasn't. Like I said, it was just something I heard.
Mitt Romney: Madame ...
Church Lady: I'm not talking to you.
Alan Keyes: I was for fetuses before Mitt Romney was for fetuses.
Fred Thompson: Madame, if I may just point out, I am the tallest person here today and should be president.
John McCain: Excuse me ...
Church Lady: Alrighty, alrighty, everybody shut up. We're out of time and we didn't even get to talk about Giuliani's naughty parts. Well, I guess out of Christian charity, we should give heretic Romney five or 10 seconds. Make that three.
Mitt Romney: Thank you, Madame Moderator. I just wanted to say that as president, I will put no doctrine of any church above the plain duties of the office and the sovereign authority of the law. And, of course, I forgive Mr. Huckabee, even though he knows exactly what he's doing.
Church Lady: Isn't that special.