Jon Sanders

And I would buy ham by the box,
Even if it's told on Fox.
And I would buy ham by the pound.
And I would buy ham for a thou.
And I would buy ham here and there.
Stimulus dough goes everywhere!
I see no problem, Scam-I-Am.
I sure would spend greenbacks on ham.

Say!
In the dark?
Here in the dark!
Would you keep them in the dark?

I would if I could,
Scam-I-Am.

Dare I, durst I, in the reign?
I'd like to, love to, in the reign.

It's quite a lark. I'll buy some trains.
I'll run the cars. I'll save the trees.
I do so love this scam, you see.
Ham by the pound! Ham by the box!
Ham for a thou! Screw you to Fox!
I sure would buy ham here and there.
Stimulus dough goes everywhere!

Would I spend
Greenbacks on ham?

I see no problem,
Scam-I-Am.

Could you, would you,
With a gloat?

I could, yes, I would
With a gloat!

Do you, have you,
Enough votes?

I hope that I have enough votes.
Just think how, dream how I would gloat!
I would gloat all through the reign.
I would gloat while they rode trains.
Stay in the dark! More power to me!
I run the cars! I save the trees!
And I will buy ham by the box,
I could give a rip for Fox.
And I will buy ham by the pound.
And I will buy ham for a thou.
And I will buy ham here and there.
Stimulus dough goes everywhere!

Would I spend
Greenbacks on ham?

I see no problem,
Scam-I-Am.

You think it won't work?
So you say.
Shut up! Shut up!
Go away!
Shut up and go away, I say!

Scam!
You call my stimulus
A huge scam?
You will see.

Hey!
Don't blame greenbacks for ham!
No! It's Bush's fault, Scam-I-Am!
We didn't know it was so bad!
It's not our fault, Scam! We were had!

But I will fix things in my reign.
We're in the dark! This is insane!
Bush crashed our state into a tree.
It's all his fault! Not mine, you see!

We need to buy ham by the box!
We need to! Please tell Fox!
We need ham by the pound.
We need ham for a thou.
We need ham here and there.
We need spending everywhere!

One day you'll like
Greenbacks for ham!
Thank me,
Thank me,
Scam-I-Am!


Jon Sanders

Jon Sanders is associate director of research at the John Locke Foundation in Raleigh, N.C.