Jon Sanders

In what Rolling Stone describes as "a bid to win over potential supporters in the under-thirty crowd," and what a certain columnist describes as a "fat, hanging curveball," Sen. Hillary Clinton announced on her campaign web site that she is seeking an official campaign theme song.

In typical Democrat fashion, Clinton controls and limits the choices, offering just two U2 tunes, one Dixie Chicks bit, one Shania Twain twang, a Monkees remake, and four others. But as individuals have shown throughout the history of this great nation, they are more ingenious and capable of aptly satisfying a need or want than any statist politician can imagine. So there's no need for Americans to stick to Clinton's nine choices when there are tens of thousands of possible choices out there.

Several potential theme songs for Clinton's campaign present themselves immediately. Here are a very few:

"Shameless" by Billy Joel (if John Edwards hasn't already claimed it)

"Yakety Yak" by The Coasters (if Sen. Barack Obama hasn't already claimed it)

"Money for Nothing" by Dire Straits (same Edwards disclaimer)

"It's the End of the World As We Know It" by R.E.M. (before Al Gore gets in the race)

"Back in the USSR" by The Beatles (if Rep. Dennis Kucinich hasn't already claimed it)

"Eve of Destruction" by Barry McGuire (Edwards disclaimer)

"Goodbye, House" by Melinda Schneider

"Theme from Kill Bill" by Bernard Herrman (if Rep. Ron Paul hasn't already claimed it; the Republican is, after all, known as "Dr. No" for opposing spending bills)

"Here It Comes Again" by Korn

"I Can't Get No Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones (if Sen. Christopher Dodd hasn't already claimed it)

"Friends in Low Places" by Garth Brooks (if Sen. Joe Biden hasn't already claimed it)

"(Gonna Be) A World of Hurt" by Drive-By Truckers

"I Don't Want a Job" by Something Corporate (Edwards disclaimer)

Those may not go deeply enough, however. A campaign theme song needs to capture the essence of a candidate with more than just its title. For instance, the Black Eyed Peas song "Shut Up" is attractive because it aptly captures the overall Democrat approach to citizens, critics, inquisitive media, talk radio, blogs, etc. "Shut up / Just shut up / Shut up, shut up, shut up," it begins, modulating to "Shut it up, just shut up / Shut up / Just shut up / Shut up, shut up, shut up" before reaching an early cadence on "Shut it up, just shut up."


Jon Sanders

Jon Sanders is associate director of research at the John Locke Foundation in Raleigh, N.C.