People are hurting – for nothing. It must be an untapped market, and some greeting-card entrepreneurs could really rack up. As a classic liberal, lover of freedom, and humanitarian, I don't mind sharing these suggestions for the greater good:
For people who take the First Amendment step of bravely talking, there could be a range of cards. Feel guilty for speaking up? You could be told, "As you speak, remember that you are loved." Need encouragement? How about a silly rhyme: "Roses are red; you say they're blue. We have free speech; I'm proud of you." There could be a "Thanks for Talking!" line if you just want to send a "friendship" card to a vocal friend. Oh, and for the religious yap, a John 1:1 "Inspirations" card would remind him that "In the beginning was the Word."
Speaking of religious yaps, no doubt there'd be a huge demand for "Holiday Encouragement" cards, perfect for the loved one on your list who wigged out the local ACLU snitch with a hearty "Merry Christmas!" You could even have special "Beat Hell Soon" cards for Bible-believing invalids. Remember, people taking advantage of their mundane, God-given rights need all the encouragement they can get, the poor souls.
There could be a special line of "Not Missing You" cards for people practicing free assembly. Heartfelt "Good Luck (You'll Need It)!" cards for someone petitioning the government for redress of grievances. Friend buy a new gun? Why not a "Give It Your Best Shot" card? (Enemy buy a gun? It's not too late for "I'm Sorry.")
And who hasn't secretly wished just once to receive an "Atta Boy" for not housing a soldier? Are you seeking due process after your local government threatened to seize your land under eminent domain? If so, what could make you feel better than a musical greeting card serenading you to the strains of Woody Guthrie's "This Land Is Your Land"?
Those are just a few of the cards possible in this new, promising line of "I Exercised My Rights and Now I Feel Bad" greeting cards. Look for them soon in the card aisle in your favorite grocery store. You're sure to find them right next to the new "Unbirthday" section.