Jonah Goldberg

Indeed, according to Weiner's original version of events, that's what happened. The famously savvy darling of the mainstream media initially claimed he was hacked by someone who wanted to distract him from his important work.

Translation: He did nothing wrong, it was all the work of a right-wing villain. The lefty Internet fever swamps followed Weiner's lead, concocting (or at least insinuating) elaborate conspiracy theories involving conservative publisher-activist Andrew Breitbart, the Koch brothers, Justice Clarence Thomas's wife and the entire parade of horribles plaguing their imagination.

If he could have gotten away with it, Weiner would have been perfectly happy to stick with the spin that he was taking the high road, unlike his sophomoric, sex-obsessed tormenters. But within 24 hours of insisting that he wouldn't let the digital equivalent of a "pie thrower" distract him from his heroic calling, he was inviting network after network to chat about his smaller namesake and whether he could identify it.

In each interview, he continued to claim he's the victim of a crime, but that he wants no investigation, save the one he or his taxpayer-funded office is paying for. O.J. Simpson-like, he will stop at nothing to find the real hackers.

By Thursday, Weiner unilaterally declared the story's over. "After almost 11 hours of answering questions, any that anyone wanted to put, today I'm going to have to get back to work doing the job that I'm paid to do." Again, that job includes overseeing an investigation better left to other, unbiased parties.

Only time will tell whether the press will let this very busy man get away with a cover-up that would have been prevented if Weiner didn't have a problem covering up.

Jonah Goldberg

Jonah Goldberg is editor-at-large of National Review Online,and the author of the book The Tyranny of Clichés. You can reach him via Twitter @JonahNRO.
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