The Joe and Valerie Show

The Wilsons' civil lawsuit against Dick Cheney, Karl Rove et al - filed, they assure us, with "heavy hearts" - claims that the White House's revelation of her identity put Valerie and her children in danger. (Never mind that it wasn't the White House that outed her but Richard Armitage over at the State Department.) Even after baring all for Vanity Fair, the golden couple make every effort to maintain their privacy. While heading for a vacation, Wilson couldn't resist giving one last interview at the Houston airport. His son blurted out for everyone to hear, "My daddy is famous, my mommy is a secret spy." Clearly the pressures of the Wilson family code of silence had gotten to the lad.

Last month, the golden couple was spied lunching with Morgan Fairchild at the Four Seasons in Washington. The trio supped on soup and salad and shared a lovely mushroom risotto, which probably won't be on the menu wherever they send Libby. You'd think the golden couple would rate higher than the faded star of "Falcon Crest." But there's a buzz that Fairchild might play Valerie in the movie Warner Bros. has just green-lighted about Valerie's life. Other boldface names said to be under consideration are Sharon Stone and Gwyneth Paltrow, so it was really a kindness for the Wilsons to even take the meeting.

Sure, all this might sound glamorous to the lumpenproletariat who don't understand the Wilsons' plight. But such rubes can't comprehend that the only reason why the Wilsons had to leap straight to a movie deal was that the CIA is holding up Valerie's $2.5 million book deal by slow-walking the clearance the book needs for publication. Doesn't anyone understand how development works? Clearly not the CIA, which claims that it still wants to keep secrets. Don't those people read Vanity Fair? That is, like, so 2003!

Lesser mortals might have trouble sleeping at night knowing that they're having the time of their lives through a level of dishonesty dwarfing the transgressions that may send Scooter Libby to prison. But, thank goodness, the golden couple is better than that. They're troopers.