The Beltway Beat will greatly miss the many column contributions from former newspaperman and Ronald Reagan political adviser Lyn Nofziger, who died this week at age 81.

Apart from politicking, Nofziger told us he found immense enjoyment penning and publishing poetry, which he accomplished under the nom de plume of Joy Skilmer.

Our favorite verse, its subject matter still holding true today, is borrowed from Nofziger's book, "Unbridled Joy."

I wonder if we'll ever see
A country that is Clinton-free,
A time when Hillary and Bill
Have left us and gone o'er the hill,
A time when they don't think they're meant,
Each one, to be our president,
To tell us all what's best for us,
Defy us then to make a fuss,
To insist they're meant to rule us,
Sure, as always, they can fool us,
A time when they at last have quit,
Their drinking from the public teat,
When Bill no longer wags his jaw,
Instead, goes home to Arkansas,
And Hillary no longer runs
But takes to baking hot cross buns.

COUP, ANYONE?

Percentage of Americans who say they trust the military, the presidency and Congress, respectively: 74, 44, 22. - Harper's Index, April 2006

NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS

"Boarded, flew, deplaned, drove. Nothing else." - White House pool report surrounding the first leg of the recent trip by President Bush to Indianapolis.

POISON ASIDE

Taking a night off from serving up Washington dirt, best-selling (unauthorized) biographer Kitty Kelley on Saturday served up risotto with black truffles and langoustine and capellacci stuffed with sweet lemon polenta - prepared by chef Fabrizio Aielli at Teatro Goldoni.

Cause for celebration was her physician-husband Dr. Jonathan Zucker's 65th birthday party, attended by 60 guests and family.

No word on Kelley's next victim, but past books by the one-time press aide to the late Sen. Eugene McCarthy have run the gamut, from her 1978 debut "Jackie Oh!" about the life of Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis; unauthorized biographies of Frank Sinatra and Nancy Reagan; "The Royals," which sapped the moats of the British royal family; and finally "The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty," published in September 2004 and loaded with outrageous accusations about president and Mrs. Bush, among others in the family.

PIGS AND PEOPLE