John McCaslin

"Services are scheduled for 7 p.m. ... at Palms Funeral Home in Angleton, Texas. In lieu of flowers, Bill would be most honored and gratified by you voting for the Bush/Cheney ticket in November."

- Newspaper obituary for William Kappes Thomasset, a West Point graduate and grandfather of 10, who died at age 81.

POOR GOOSE

On the heels of a camouflaged Sen. John Kerry bagging an Ohio goose with a 12-gauge shotgun, Interior Secretary Gale A. Norton yesterday traveled to the same battleground state to present awards to organizations that promote wildlife conservation and habitat enhancement.

CAMPAIGN CHA-CHA

It gets extremely monotonous covering a presidential campaign, as reflected in this official White House pool report, filed yesterday after a visit to Greeley, Colo., by President Bush, first lady Laura Bush and former New York Mayor Rudolph W. Giuliani and his wife, Judith:

With a couple of dozen airmen and civilians looking on, (the two couples) did the arrival dance: Salute, wave, walk, cha, cha, cha. Pause, wave, climb steps, cha, cha, cha. Big Finish here! Turn, pause, wave, cha, cha, cha. (Caution: Music may have been playing only in pooler's head.)

UPSET BOWLES

We did a double-take after reading this latest headline from the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee: "Bowels up 46-44 in Latest DSCC Poll."

Change that from Bowels to Erskine Bowles, former White House chief of staff to President Clinton, who is running neck and neck against Republican Rep. Richard M. Burr in the North Carolina Senate race.

CONDI BABY

"On the right we have beauty and brains," Lisa De Pasquale, program director of the Clare Boothe Luce Policy Institute, tells The Beltway Beat.

She calls our undivided attention to the 2005 Great American Conservative Women calendar, to be released on Nov. 1 by the group whose mission is to prepare women for conservative leadership and promote school-choice opportunities.

"Each month features a couple of pictures and thought-provoking quotes," she says of "calendar girls" who include:

Miss February: Star Parker, founder of the Coalition on Urban Renewal & Education.

Miss May: Laura Schlessinger, radio talk-show host.

Miss July: Ann Coulter, conservative author.

Miss August: Michelle Malkin, syndicated conservative columnist.

Miss October: Monica Crowley, Fox News political and international affairs analyst.


John McCaslin

John McCaslin is a contributing columnist on Townhall.com and author of Inside The Beltway: Offbeat Stories, Scoops, and Shenanigans from around the Nation's Capital .

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