Money will buy anything these days - including an imaginary foreign leader who will not only support your presidential candidacy, he will lie for you.
On the heels of Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry insisting that numerous foreign leaders (whom he declines to name) have endorsed his bid for the White House, a politically motivated entrepreneur, who appears to be from India, has placed himself on the EBay auction block as the imaginary "leader of a foreign nation that supports your candidacy for president of the United States until the elections in November."
"I'll play along with you with whatever you want me to say," says the pretend head of state. "If you want me to tell some pesky Republican who calls you out at a campaign stop that I support you, I'll back you up. ... Just like you, I'm willing to say anything it takes to get you elected. I won't mean a bit of it, and I'll change my stand on the situation when it is politically convenient."
Last time we checked, the bidding, which started at $10, surpassed $15,099. The high bidder was a woman named Zelda.
BECOME NO. 30
Keep your eye open for any al Qaeda terrorist cells in this country. It could make you extremely wealthy.
In the past seven years, 29 persons who provided credible information about terrorists to U.S. authorities have received rewards in excess of $49 million, including one tipster whose information led to the arrest and conviction of Ramzi Yousef for the 1993 World Trade Center bombing in New York City.
And look for the reward pot to grow. Last week, by a vote of 414-0, the House passed the Counter-Terrorist and Narco-Terrorist Rewards Program, which expands rewards even further to help prevent acts of terrorism against U.S. citizens.
For example, under provisions of the USA Patriot Act of 2001, Secretary of State Colin L. Powell has been authorized to pay up to $25 million for information leading to the capture of Osama bin Laden and other key al Qaeda leaders. The just-passed House bill raises the reward for bin Laden's capture to a whopping $50 million.
Meanwhile, Rep. Mark Steven Kirk (R-Ill.) reveals that bin Laden slowly has been changing his own source of financing.
"He used to depend on Wahhabi (Saudi Islamic sect) donations, his personal fortune and donations from Europe, but those sources of funding have largely dried up under a series of United Nations legal orders," the congressman says. "Today, Osama bin Laden stands as one of the world's number one sellers of heroin."
John McCaslin is a contributing columnist on Townhall.com and author of Inside The Beltway: Offbeat Stories, Scoops, and Shenanigans from around the Nation's Capital .
Be the first to read John McCaslin's column. Sign up today and receive Townhall.com delivered each morning to your inbox.
Green Hypocrisy: CEO of Virgin Airlines Says Global Warming Skeptics Should ‘Get Out of Our Way’ | Leah Barkoukis