In his fairly short, seven-plus page commencement address to students at Wingate University in North Carolina, Sen. Orrin G. Hatch (R-UT) managed to invoke the worldly advice of Groucho Marx, George Steinbrenner, Wayne Gretzky, J. Paul Getty, Babe Ruth, Abraham Lincoln, Don Henley, Albert Einstein, St. Augustine and Ralph Waldo Emerson.
It comes as no surprise that the Republican-led Congress is undertaking Capitol Hill's first extensive re-examination of immigration law since 1965.
This after the 2000 Census -- to the surprise of even Uncle Sam -- found that Hispanics in only a few short years had overtaken blacks as the nation's largest minority group.
Even House Speaker J. Dennis Hastert's Illinois district recorded a 125 percent jump in the Latino population since the previous federal head count.
What really worries Hastert and the GOP leadership in Congress most is that Hispanic-Americans tend to vote 2-1 for Democrats.
There are still people in this country who refuse to recognize George W. Bush as the nation's 43rd president.
Not that there weren't those in this country who also refused to recognize William Jefferson Clinton as the nation's 42nd president.
Nevertheless, the Voter Rights March to Restore Democracy will go ahead as scheduled this Saturday (May 19) in both Washington and San Francisco -- a "march and rally setting up to be even bigger than the march on January 20 in Washington, which protested the illegitimate selection by the Supreme Court of George Bush as president," organizer James G. Wilson tells this column.
Although there was no official head count, Wilson claims 30,000 people gathered in Washington that day for the "biggest inaugural protest since 1973."
Strong reaction from the military community after Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe declared in this column that "every citizen of this nation has the right to . . enter a polling place without impediment . . . ensuring that the thousands of voices that were silenced during the last election cycle because their votes were not counted will never have their democracy denied again."
Air Force Lt. Col. Harry M. Mathis best sums up the majority's opinion: "Unfortunately, as one of the major players in the Democratic Party's attempt to steal the 2000 presidential election, McAuliffe participated in the shameful attempt to disenfranchise military members by sending an army of Democrat lawyers to every Florida county to challenge military absentee ballots.
"In fact, those 'thousands of voices that were silenced' in the 2000 presidential election were those thousands of American servicemen whose ballots were thrown out by the Democrats."
A reader kindly forwards this unsourced explanation of what rules the world in simple two-cow terms:
-- Socialism: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor.
-- Communism: You have two cows. The government takes them both and provides you with milk.
-- Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk.
-- Bureaucracy: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours it down the drain.
-- Capitalism: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.
-- Corporate: You have two cows. You sell one, force the other to produce the milk of four cows and then act surprised when it drops dead.
-- Democracy: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point that you must sell them both in order to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow which was a gift from your government.
AIM FOR THE AISLE
While a host of male congressmen, senators and governors are co-chairing the Fourth Annual National Summit on Fatherhood in Washington next month, it's D.C. Delegate Eleanor Holmes Norton's interview with Essence magazine that has captured the attention of the summit's sponsor, the National Fatherhood Initiative.
Asked what elected officials should do about black children being caught in the cross hairs of poverty, Mrs. Norton replied, "I'm not going to give you the politician's answer." Instead, she cited the "disappearance of marriage" in large sections of the black community as the culprit.
"We've got to talk about marriage again," Mrs. Norton says of black elected officials. "We've got to make it fashionable."