English is a living language, always changing under the pressure of euphemism and verbal politics. Here are some translations for the modern reader:

  • activity intolerance: lower back pain

  • transitional assistance: welfare

  • after-sales services: kickbacks

  • involuntary administrative segregation: solitary confinement

  • three-day wait for a gun: regulation

  • one-day wait for an abortion: restriction

  • communications strategist: public relations person

  • creative response conceptions: PR

  • tug of peace: tug of war conducted by sensitive people

  • content providers: writers

  • compound: the home and property of someone reporters consider an extremist. (Thanks to Michelle Malkin.)

  • wedgislation: proposed law not intended to be passed or even seriously debated, but introduced solely to embarass the opposition. (William Saletan of Slate.)

  • not multicultural enough: white (For instance: "Many classes are no longer reading 'Catcher in the Rye' because the central character, Holden Caufield, isn't multicultural enough.")

  • sporadic protests and vandalism: a race riot, as reported by The New York Times

  • disturbances: race riots, second-day reference in the Times

  • special interests: your opponent's supporters

  • public-spirited citizens: your supporters

  • concerned Americans from around this great country: your non-local supporters

  • outside agitators: your opponent's non-local supporters

  • non-traditional sex: perversion

  • sex worker: prostitute, stripper, porn actor

  • false consciousness: she still loves her husband

  • leather community: sadomasochists

  • solo sexual activity, sex for one: masturbation

  • narratized sexual harassment: off-color joke

  • uncoerced sex: rare or obsolescent form of campus sexuality. "Many women like uncoerced sex," said Kathryn Abrams, Boston University law professor.