John Hawkins
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4) Osama Bin Laden was killed (May 2, 2011): In what undoubtedly was Barack Obama's greatest moment, a bunch of scared, wimpy SEALs came to him and said, "We've figured out where Osama Bin Laden is, but we think we shouldn't go get him because we're afraid!" That was undoubtedly how most other Americans would have felt as well because as Obama's team has told us constantly, he made a "gutsy call" to kill Osama. So obviously, those SEAL pansies had to be pushed into killing him, a wimp like John McCain wouldn't have done it, and hundreds of millions of Americans who were angry about 9/11 wouldn't have had cojones as big as President Mom-Jeans since he made such an incredibly "gutsy call."

5) NASA had its last manned space flight (July 21, 2011): America's "science President" moved America "forward" by cancelling our manned space program, which actually takes us all the way "backward" to 1960, the year before this country had its first crewed spaceflight. Hooray! We've gone backwards fifty years under Obama which takes us "forward"...or something.

6) America loses its AAA credit rating (August 5, 2011): For the first time since 1917, America had its credit rating downgraded from AAA by Standard & Poor's. Despite Barack Obama's call telling S&P that Tea Partiers must have spent all those trillions of dollars while he was out of the White House golfing and his promise that "We'll pay it all back when our next paycheck comes in, we swear", S&P refused to take Obama's record-breaking deficit numbers off the books.

7) Barack Obama increases the national debt more in 3 years and 2 months than George Bush did in two terms (March 18, 2012): Despite delivering the "feeblest economic recovery since the Great Depression," Barack Obama managed to rack up more debt in 38 months than George W. Bush did in 96 months. That's sort of like putting down enough money to buy a Lamborghini and getting a used Dukes of Hazzard remote control toy car in return.

8) "You didn't build that." (July 13, 2012): In a revolutionary speech -- well, for the President of a capitalistic country anyway -- Barack Obama explained how the markets work. Apparently, the government provides roads, street signs, and regulations and in response, small businesses spring up to provide jobs and tax revenue without any individual effort, sort of like mushrooms after a night of hard rain.

9) Barack Obama had a Las Vegas Fundraiser (September 12, 2012): One day after Libyan Ambassador Chris Stevens and three other Americans died because the Obama Administration ignored numerous warnings that they were in danger, Barack Obama jetted off to a fundraiser in Las Vegas. There were fears that four Americans dying because of Obama’s incompetence might spoil the mood, but all reports seem to indicate that a good time was had by all.

10) Barack Obama gets demolished in his first head-to-head debate with Mitt Romney (October 3, 2012): Surprisingly, Barack Obama, whom the mainstream media has christened as the most warm, charismatic, cool, confident, competent and good looking President in American history, was soundly defeated (as in Genghis Khan's forces managed to soundly defeat the unarmed farmers who opposed him) by Mitt Romney, who is often fondly described as "robotic, but in a good way" by his supporters. The explanations for this inexplicable defeat ranged from "The air in Denver was too thin for him," to "Jim Lehrer didn't ask Obama enough questions about how wonderful he is," to "Do you think he's high again? I mean, I wouldn't put it past him – and, wow, would it explain a LOT OF THINGS about his presidency."

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John Hawkins

John Hawkins runs Right Wing News and Linkiest. He's also the co-owner of the The Looking Spoon. You can see more from John Hawkins on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, G+, You Tube, and at PJ Media.