With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, you just might be a liberal if...
1) You get extremely upset about the idea of the government coming into our bedrooms unless it's to give everyone free birth control.
2) You believe that people who hold the exact same position on gay marriage that Barack Obama did last year are horrible bigots who are unfit to hold office.
3) You think that Mitt Romney, who has raked leaves for old people, helped a dying child with his will, and paid for college educations for kids who became quadriplegics in a car wreck, is less compassionate than Barack Obama who makes fun of kids in the Special Olympics and made his own brother beg other people to get the money to pay for his child's hospital bill.
4) You think Mitt Romney having an offshore bank account is a bigger deal than Barack Obama forgiving a billion dollars of debt owed to us by the anti-American, pro-terrorist theocrats who run Egypt.
5) You believe that Obama putting more Americans on food stamps than any other President in history is a feature, not a bug.
6) You get angry because you believe rich Americans aren't paying their "fair share," but you don't question whether the government is spending its "fair share" of the money that other people earned on the Stimulus, cash for clunkers, Solyndra, and other wasteful uses of our tax dollars.
7) You think Halliburton bidding for and winning government contracts was a scandal since Dick Cheney used to work there, but you think Barack Obama giving away 25 billion dollars in taxpayer money to help out his union cronies at GM and Chevrolet is honest and above reproach.
8) You believe anti-war protests, dead soldiers, and "grim milestones" ceased to be important the moment Barack Obama was elected and chose to continue many of the same practices he criticized when he ran for office in 2008.