10) The good news is that housing would be free. The bad news is that it would mostly be in ugly cement buildings with drug addicts, former homeless people, the severely mentally ill, and career criminals peppered all through the complex for the sake of "diversity."
11) Wearing a cross, mentioning the Bible, or advocating Christian beliefs anywhere outside of a church would be illegal because it might "offend people."
12) Meat, 32 ounce sodas, and trans fats would be illegal. Crack, meth, and heroin would be legal.
13) America's military would be so weak we'd have to rely on Mexico and Canada to defend us from potential threats.
14) The Israelis would be driven into the sea, Taiwan would be swallowed by China, and Russia would begin to gobble up the countries that broke free after the Soviet Union fell.
15) Not only would partial birth abortions be legal, but a mother would be allowed to kill her child for three months after he’s born without penalty.
16) Stopping sex offenders from teaching school or adopting children would be considered discriminatory.
17) Activists would be able to sue on behalf of individual plants and animals in court.
18) The government would control health care top-to-bottom. It would take six months to get an operation, which would be considered a feature, not a bug because a lot of old people would die in the interim and save the government money.
19) Only government employees would be able to legally own guns.
20) Income inequality would be nearly eradicated after all the rich Americans and big corporations fled the country rather than pay confiscatory tax rates.
21) Wal-Mart would only be allowed to hire union employees and completely coincidentally, their prices would double.
22) We'd have open borders and so many illegal aliens in the southern United States that California, Arizona, New Mexico, and Texas would end up being ceded back to Mexico.
23) There would be a free, in-house abortion clinic in every junior high in America.
24) President Kucinich's new idea to help deal with the soaring jobless rate? Paying workers the new minimum wage, $80,000 a year, to dig holes and fill them back up.
25) The federal government would spend 134 billion dollars replacing the current Presidents on Mount Rushmore with Gloria Steinem, Harvey Milk, Cesar Chavez, and Margaret Sanger.
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