2) Barack Obama: Barack Hussein Obama is not a victim; he's a former dopehead who was never even remotely qualified to be President in the first place. Oh, but he's having a tough time because of racism? Please. Barack Obama was elected in the first place because he is black. A white man with his non-existent record of accomplishment wouldn't have even been considered a serious candidate for the presidency. Now, every time someone criticizes Obama, it's supposed to be racism. Every failure is supposed to be the fault of George Bush. Every time Republicans in Congress don't go along with his agenda, which was so disastrous it produced a once every fifty years landslide for the GOP in 2010, they're supposedly treating him unfairly. Newsflash: Barack Obama is not some poor sharecropper or waiter being pushed around by a corrupt liberal sheriff in the fifties; he's the President of the United States. It's a tough job. You get a lot of criticism, the other side isn't very cooperative, and people judge you based on your results. Barack Obama isn't a victim; he's a miserable, incompetent failure. There's a world of difference.
3) Aggressive atheists: It's the pushy, arrogant, angry atheists who are so tedious. Oh, how dare these Christians put up a Christmas display at a school in front of the townhall! It’s outrageous that they mention "Under God" in the pledge! Who do they think they are encouraging schools to sing songs about Christ at Christmas? Does it terrify them that they're going to hear some little kids singing "Away in a Manger" and they'll convert on the spot or are they just so empty that seeing someone else with faith fills them with a sense of rage and panic? Either way, Christians are exposed to enough ungodly, atheistic behavior on a regular basis that I doubt if any of us will be shedding tears because some atheist with emotional issues gets upset if he hears anyone mention Christ.
4) Journalists: Journalists have always held themselves out to be highly trained, well educated professionals with rigorous standards of impartiality and multiple layers of fact checking. Then bloggers came along and people found out untrained citizens wearing pajamas and working out of their basements could compete with reporters at the New York Times. Suddenly, journalists saw their audiences, their prestige, and their money start to slowly drain away. Because the profession is filled with pretentious liberals who talk about themselves like they're watchdogs while they act like lapdogs for the Democratic Party, the deterioration of newspapers has been met with utter indifference by the American public. Instead of moaning about the horrors of having to compete for a living like everyone else, maybe journalists should start asking what they can do to make themselves worthy of survival in the marketplace.
5) Women who don't get free contraception: There are some women whose medical insurance doesn't pay for their contraception, you know, just like men! Oh, the poor, strong, empowered little dears! Like Sandra Fluke! Of course, if you point out that you'd practically have to be a professional prostitute to use so much birth control that you couldn't afford to buy it yourself, the argument immediately switches to birth control for medical reasons. Yet, if you keep pressing, that always turns out to be a dodge because there wouldn’t be a debate if that’s all that were at stake. So yes, the Sandra Flukes of the world are ultimately saying that they're using so much birth control that they need the Pope to provide it for them so they'll still have money to pay for food, rent, and gas. So either they're taking on the whole football team five nights a week or much more likely, they're just another group of whiners who want everyone else to give them something they don't deserve for free.
6) Students loaded down with debt: So, we have people who CHOSE to go to expensive private schools. Then, many of them CHOSE to get degrees in majors that don't pay a lot of money. The whole time this was going on, these people knew how much debt they were accumulating and that it was entirely possible that there might not be a high paying job waiting for them the moment they graduated. Now, a lot of these people want everyone else to pay for their poor life choices? No thank you! If your women's studies major wasn't worth the $100,000 you spent to get it, that seems like a personal problem for you to work out.
7) Liberal feminists: Speaking of women's studies majors, women are not victims of the "patriarchy." Yes, left-wing feminists love to note that women make 81 cents on the dollar compared to men. They're not so fond of mentioning that's because men work longer hours, with less time off, at more difficult jobs to earn those bigger paychecks. If that wasn't true, all you'd need to do to make a mint is start an all female firm, where the women would work at 81 cents on the dollar compared to men; then you'd undercut the labor costs of your competitors and make a killing! Of course, nobody does that because the “income gap” doesn’t exist in any meaningful sense in the real world. It's also worth noting that more women than men graduate from college, divorce courts are heavily slanted in favor of women, and women live longer than men. Maybe men should start crying about the matriarchy...well, if that wasn't so unmanly.