John Hawkins

3) As we all know, criminals are just victims of society, while the police are the real problem! It would be tempting to make liberal cities police-free zones, but perhaps that goes a bit too far. So, from now on, police won't be allowed to have guns or use any sort of force in left-wing cities. Instead, the police can just use the power of reasoning to talk it out with the criminals and convince them to do the right thing!

4) Liberal students with good grades in college should have points taken off their test scores and given to students who haven't done quite as well. After all, successful students shouldn't begrudge sharing their success with those who've been less fortunate.

5) When a liberal stands before a judge, that judge should be allowed to put him in prison, let him go, bankrupt him, or do anything he wants based on nothing more than his whims. Why? I got two words for you: "Living Constitution."

6) As Al Gore noted recently (despite his four children), we need a lot more "fertility management" to keep the population down and save Mother Gaia! Liberals can lead the way by being forced to adopt China's "one child" policy. Of course, if they make a "mistake" and get pregnant, then they’ll have to "choose" to have an abortion.

7) Every liberal in America should have to get Canadian citizenship and then, when a Republican wins, all of them should have to move there until a Democrat President is re-elected -- well, if a Democrat President were ever re-elected.

8) As we've learned from the patriotic millionaires, wealthy liberals want to pay higher taxes. So, we should indulge them. Wealthy liberals should pay the same tax rates we had under Jimmy Carter, while other rich people should continue on under the current tax rates.

9) If illegal aliens are just undocumented Americans looking for a better life, then burglars are just undocumented houseguests looking for a better life. That's why every liberal home should be an unlocked "sanctuary city" for any burglar, homeless person, or crazy-eyed drifter who just needs a place to crash for a little while!

10) Since corporations and the rich get ahead by taking advantage of society, liberals should only be allowed to work for poor people. That might reduce the size of their job market a bit, but their lives would become much more virtuous!


John Hawkins

John Hawkins runs Right Wing News and Linkiest. He's also the co-owner of the The Looking Spoon. You can see more from John Hawkins on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, G+, You Tube, and at PJ Media.