John Hawkins

The Senate GOP: At least eighty percent of them don't believe in anything other than getting re-elected and they seem to have a distinct distaste for most of the people who sent them to Washington. How we ended up with such a sorry collection of puffed up, vertebrae-free jackanapes representing the Right, I'll never know.

The people in charge of making war movies in Hollywood: During World War II, Hollywood cranked out pro-war films left and right. But, the only notable pro-war movie that came out in the last eight years was Team America: World Police -- which featured puppets!

Wait, wait -- to be fair, Hollywood did also make Valkyrie, a movie about the heroism of German soldiers trying to stop Hitler. If only there were any heroic soldiers like that around today, ones that the American people could better relate to, for Hollywood to make movies about.

Barack Obama: Don't get me started. There just isn't enough time in the day.

The King: Burger King's mascot is creepy and it's slightly disturbing that he's associated with food products. That's exactly whom you want preparing your food, isn't it? An eerie guy in a mask who never speaks?

The airlines: Security is a hassle, customer service is mediocre, they're too careless with luggage, it takes too long to get through an airport, and flying is too expensive. No wonder people are less excited about getting on an airplane than getting a root canal.

Lawyers: America's legal profession is over run with amoral, ambulance-chasing shysters who have nothing better to do than to try to make millions of dollars looting productive people and companies.

"Oh, but John, you wouldn't say something like that if you needed a lawyer right now!"

Should they be thanked for setting up that kind of system? It's like a dog being forced to hire a tick to defend itself from the other ticks on its back trying to suck its blood.

Global Warming Nuts: Just because you shout "science" a dozen times and have managed to politically intimidate a large percentage of the scientific world that disagrees with you into silence, doesn't mean you have the slightest idea what you're talking about.

America's newspapers: Never has there been a group of people more dishonest about their biases, more contemptuous of their audience, and more falsely convinced of their own irreplaceability than America's newspapermen. Meanwhile, the whole industry is dying a slow death and their primary reaction has been to wonder why no one seems very upset about their demise.

John Hawkins

John Hawkins runs Right Wing News and Linkiest. You can see more of John Hawkins on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, G+,You Tube, and at PJ Media.