John Hawkins

With yet more apologies to Jeff Foxworthy, you just might be a liberal if...

* You blame the oil companies for high gas prices, but believe in doing everything humanly possible to keep them from drilling for more oil.

* You'd have no problem with a Democratic President talking with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or Kim Jung-Il without conditions, but would be very upset if he started seriously negotiating with Republicans over national security or energy issues.

* You don't see a conflict between "supporting the troops" and trying to insure that they lose the war that they're fighting.

* You think the solution to an underperforming economy is higher taxes, more regulations, and publicly attacking businesses, but don't understand how that relates to the phrase, "The beatings will continue until morale improves."

* You're surprised that people don't think you're patriotic just because you were photographed not holding your hand over your heart during the national anthem and made a big deal out of refusing to wear a flag pin.

* You tell everyone who'll listen that Bush is "worse than Hitler" and that Republicans are fascists, but you never stop to consider that if that were true, you'd be dead or in a gulag already.

* You think Christmas songs at school plays shouldn't be allowed because they might offend people who don't believe, but don't understand what the problem is supposed to be with government funded "art" that defiles Christianity.

* Your idea of "reparations for slavery" is white people who have never owned slaves giving money to black people who were never slaves, more than a hundred years after slavery ended.

* You "assure us that deterrence will work, but when the time comes to deter, (you're) against it." -- Ann Coulter

* You think celebrities are just exercising their right to free speech when they criticize conservatives, but believe that the celebs are having their First Amendment rights abridged if anyone criticizes them for their comments.

* You called George Bush, "George Herbert Walker Bush," and George Allen, "George Felix Allen," but think someone referring to Barack Obama as "Barack Hussein Obama" is a racist.

* You think we should give condoms to thirteen year-olds because "they're going to do it anyway," but feel that we can get rid of every gun held by criminals in the U.S. simply by making them illegal.


John Hawkins

John Hawkins runs Right Wing News and Linkiest. You can see more of John Hawkins on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, G+,You Tube, and at PJ Media.