-- Know when to seek help. It's possible that your debt load is so extensive that you just can't manage it on your own. Your monthly income simply will not allow you to make the payments on your cards while still keeping up with your other expenses and putting food on the table. If that's the case, don't just tread water -- explore your options. "There isn't one solution that fits everyone. Credit counseling agencies will recommend credit counseling, bankruptcy attorneys will recommend bankruptcy. It's important to understand what your options are," explains Detweiler. My suggestion? Start with a credit counseling agency, which you can find through the National Foundation for Credit Counseling. A good credit card counselor will put you on a debt-management plan that will have you out of debt in three to five years. NFCC just recently launched a new program, called "Call to Action," that provides even more relief in the form of lower interest rates for consumers who are really struggling.
If a credit counselor can't help you -- and typically they can't if your income doesn't support repayment in under five years -- then consider bankruptcy or a debt settlement. When it comes to the latter, be wary of scams. If you have just one or two credit cards, it's entirely possible to settle your debts on your own and avoid the high fees charged by debt settlement firms.
-- Talk it out. Now you're making progress, but that doesn't mean you're no longer feeling weighed down by your debt. Hiding it, though, is only going to create bigger problems. So set up a system of open communication, and start with your family. Dr. Kathleen Hall, founder of The Stress Institute, suggests setting up a time each week to sit down together -- kids included -- and talk about the finances. "Children mirror their parent's stress, so they're carrying this around and because they don't want to put another load on you, they bury it inside. But they'll act out, and it can show up in their grades." Be open and honest about how you're feeling without scaring them, and challenge them to find creative ways to help the family save money. One child can be in charge of making sure the lights are off when no one is in the room, another can help you look for and clip coupons.
At a separate time, meet weekly with just your spouse to discuss your progress, work on your plan of attack, and just generally communicate about how you're feeling. Having a friend to talk to outside of the family helps as well.
-- Find serenity. Every day, do something that makes you feel calm, says Hall. It could be meditation or yoga or even just laughing. Do it for five minutes, ten minutes or more. But putting in the time, no matter how much you have, will clear your mind and "reset" your brain. Make an effort to fit in some heart-pumping exercise as well. (No, you don't need a gym membership. A run, some jumping jacks or a walk will do just fine.) Finally, memorize a positive mantra that you can repeat to yourself when you're feeling down. Saying "I am strong" or "I am resilient" over and over can help to reduce your heavy load of stress.
With reporting by Arielle McGowen