This week marks the release of my new book, "The Difference: How Anyone Can Prosper in Even the Toughest Times." The book is an answer to one important question: Why do some people seem to move easily from a paycheck-to-paycheck existence into comfort and wealth, while others get stuck or -- worse -- fall behind? The result is a prescription for finding jobs, saving more, investing wisely and gaining success, even in a dismal economy like this one.
There's a good chance you've asked yourself the question I began with in this column. You've wondered if there's a difference between you and the more successful folks in your orbit. You've noticed that some people have the innate ability to rise above any situation. They seem to effortlessly soar in social settings, at work, and with money. So why can't you?
People who know "The Difference" have tapped into attributes that exist in all of us; some are personality characteristics, others are necessary habits. The good news is that once you realize what these factors are, you can gradually begin to cultivate them. It isn't difficult, but it's up to you to decide that you want to make "The Difference" in your own life.
-- Happiness and Optimism. The old saying that money buys happiness is, for the record, not true. Once you're living comfortably, money doesn't buy more happiness. But happiness can potentially lead to money and success -- as does optimism. Both enable you to solve problems, come up with innovative ideas, and take long-range consequences into consideration.
To improve: Prioritize action, not acceptance. If you need to, spend money on great experiences, not objects, and learn to be aware by taking note of the good things happening around you.
-- Resilience. If this isn't yet the buzzword of 2009, it will be. Just look at the definition: "The ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change." People who have moved into successful situations or financial comfort have resilience.
To improve: Control the things you can control and simply let go of the others. When you're feeling stressed or put upon, just take action. Even if it's the wrong thing, that's OK -- simply starting on something can get you out of a rut.
-- Connectedness. The successful and financially comfortable cast a wide social net, mingling with neighbors, coworkers, and people who can help them advance financially or in their careers. They not only join appropriate groups, but they put themselves forward as a leader.
To improve: It's not enough just to show up. Supplement your in-person networking efforts with an online presence on web sites like Facebook or LinkedIn. Use them often to stay in touch.
-- Passion. There are jobs that you do just for money, and there are careers, which offer money and advancement, and then there are callings, which are life goals that you just have to accomplish.
To improve: Pinpoint your passions by asking yourself: If money weren't an issue, what would I be doing in my life? If switching careers isn't feasible right now, refer to point one and stay optimistic. Tell yourself you had a good day, put a smile on your face. Your energy will improve, and you'll feel better about your current position.
-- Intuition. We feel these signals in our gut, and we call them hunches. But they're really our intuition; a sixth sense that I believe is more developed in the affluent.
To improve: Give yourself room to breathe: If you're focusing all your energy on a problem, there is little room for your intuition to kick in. Often, you have to relax and clear the air.
-- Habitual saving. The wealthy may have the funds to be crazy spenders, but most are not. Saving money has been and will always be an essential financial goal.
To improve: Get in the routine of saving a little something on an automatic and consistent basis. To make it easier, visualize your goals. Retirement for me is a beach house in Long Beach Island, N.J. I know what it looks like. I know when I want it. And that makes it a lot easier to, for instance, refrain from buying that new pair of shoes.
-- Investing in stocks. You have to understand the need to take risks in the market in order to make your money work as hard as you do.
To improve: You can use a plan like the one included in my book, or you can work with a financial adviser. Once you have a strategy, stick with it, and try not to jump onto the next hot thing. By the time you've heard it's hot, believe me, it's already cooling.
-- Gratitude. People who get rich are not just grateful; they practice gratitude by giving back to their communities, to organizations they believe in, and to people they care about.
To improve: Adopt a new vocabulary. Incorporate words like gift, lucky, fortunate, thankful and blessed. Think of something you view as mundane -- maybe your job -- as a gift, and focus on how life might be if you didn't have it.
-- Curiosity. A college education, we know, is important. But it's not just a classroom education that sets the successful apart. They are always learning, consistently reading books for pleasure, and newspapers to keep up with current events.
To improve: Read every day. And find a mentor at work who can help to open new avenues of thought.
-- Hard work. I believe the wealthy work harder than other people. They are more likely to mix work with their downtime, and sacrifice personal time for professional success.
To improve: Kick your work ethic into high gear and try competing against yourself: What is your personal best? Do you want to fill a room for your presentation, or write a great novel? Think about doing the best you can, rather than doing better than your colleagues.