This week marks the release of my new book, "The Difference: How Anyone Can Prosper in Even the Toughest Times." The book is an answer to one important question: Why do some people seem to move easily from a paycheck-to-paycheck existence into comfort and wealth, while others get stuck or -- worse -- fall behind? The result is a prescription for finding jobs, saving more, investing wisely and gaining success, even in a dismal economy like this one.
There's a good chance you've asked yourself the question I began with in this column. You've wondered if there's a difference between you and the more successful folks in your orbit. You've noticed that some people have the innate ability to rise above any situation. They seem to effortlessly soar in social settings, at work, and with money. So why can't you?
People who know "The Difference" have tapped into attributes that exist in all of us; some are personality characteristics, others are necessary habits. The good news is that once you realize what these factors are, you can gradually begin to cultivate them. It isn't difficult, but it's up to you to decide that you want to make "The Difference" in your own life.
-- Happiness and Optimism. The old saying that money buys happiness is, for the record, not true. Once you're living comfortably, money doesn't buy more happiness. But happiness can potentially lead to money and success -- as does optimism. Both enable you to solve problems, come up with innovative ideas, and take long-range consequences into consideration.
To improve: Prioritize action, not acceptance. If you need to, spend money on great experiences, not objects, and learn to be aware by taking note of the good things happening around you.
-- Resilience. If this isn't yet the buzzword of 2009, it will be. Just look at the definition: "The ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change." People who have moved into successful situations or financial comfort have resilience.
To improve: Control the things you can control and simply let go of the others. When you're feeling stressed or put upon, just take action. Even if it's the wrong thing, that's OK -- simply starting on something can get you out of a rut.
-- Connectedness. The successful and financially comfortable cast a wide social net, mingling with neighbors, coworkers, and people who can help them advance financially or in their careers. They not only join appropriate groups, but they put themselves forward as a leader.
To improve: It's not enough just to show up. Supplement your in-person networking efforts with an online presence on web sites like Facebook or LinkedIn. Use them often to stay in touch.