-- Remember that you're not alone. "Regardless of their level of income, everyone feels uncomfortable talking about their own finances, across the board. It's not necessarily based on what we have or don't have," says Ludwig. I'd even take that a step further and say that the opposite is true as well: Everyone, regardless of their financial state, would feel better if they could air their money fears once in a while. Money is a hugely stressful topic, and it takes a toll on your mental -- and often physical -- health if you keep your feelings bottled up inside. Realizing that you have some common ground with others can give you the confidence you need to raise the topic.
-- Do a little research. This may sound superficial because there are deeper issues here than vocabulary, but knowing a little bit about the subject can't hurt. A lot of people feel like personal finance consists of an entirely different language. If you tend to shy away from participating in money discussions because you're scared of embarrassing yourself, pick up a personal finance magazine or turn on CNBC once in a while. At the start, it may seem completely foreign, but you'll start to absorb the information. It's not going to morph you into a day trader, but when the topic of credit cards comes up, you'll feel like you're standing on steady ground.
-- Take a time out. Gratitude is huge here. We live in a culture that highlights the desire to have more, no matter how much we already have. "We're almost fed messages that we're deprived, that we need the next best thing, and if you can disconnect from that, you'll be able to take stock of how lucky you are for what you already have," says Ludwig. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, give a donation to a cause you support, or just simply look around you because often, jealousy is what holds us back from having the money talks. If you're comfortable with what you have and who you are, you'll automatically be more comfortable talking about your finances.
-- Work your way up. No one expects you to walk up to a stranger and announce your salary, or strike up a money conversation at the next party. But if you and your spouse struggle when talking about your bank accounts, or your friends always sidestep financial discussions, see if you can start jimmying open the lines of communication. It's OK to say that you don't know how to approach the subject, but it's something you want to discuss. If you hit a wall -- either with yourself or with the other person -- remind yourself that you're tackling a huge obstacle, and keep trying.
Note: Did you know that many cell-phone carriers charge 20 cents per text message if you don't have a package included in your plan? That means sending four messages a day could cost more than $200 a year. Use the calculator on myrateplan.com (www.myrateplan.com/text_messaging/) to make sure you're not overspending. Or, call your carrier and ask what kind of plan you need to keep that spending in check.