Those who have not actually experienced father absence can celebrate books like "Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice" or "Raising Boys Without Men." Listening to those who have lived without a father is a totally different matter.
Ray Lewis is an All-American football hero –– he has twice been a National Football League Defensive Player of the Year and was Super Bowl XXXV's most valuable player. There are those who make a strong case that he is the greatest linebacker and best football player in NFL history. He grew up, though, in a single-mother home, and while he is very close to his mother, his rage is palpable whenever he talks about his absent father.
In the television profile, Beyond the Glory, it was painful to observe and listen as Lewis described the emotional toll on his life because his father was never there. He recounted numerous attempts to reconcile with his father. He sobbed as he relived a recent attempt when his father agreed to meet with him, but didn't show up. He said, "My father was always lying to me, telling me he was going to see me on this day or bring me something on that day, and he never did."
During high school, Ray was determined to outdo his father in athletics. He set a goal of breaking every single sports record his father had established. Ray said he succeeded in "replacing his name with mine." Following the typical pattern, Ray, a single father, doesn't want his children to go through what he went through without a dad; yet, he hasn't married either of the mothers of his four children.
Ray Lewis is a high-profile example of a common phenomenon. His life illustrates the data, and his experiences characterize the impact that father absence has on the lives of literally millions of children in America. There are far too many children who never see their dads; even way too many who have no idea who is their dad. Those children are paying too high a price in a nation where everybody from politicians to corporate presidents talk about their motivation being to do things "for our children."
At this national Popeye Moment, it is time to cry out, "Our culture has had all it can stand! It can't stands no more!" We have to move family issues to the top of our national policy and political priorities. Woodrow Wilson once described politics as a "war of causes." The result of the illegitimacy crisis on our nation's children is an ultimate cause. Unless we wage war on the root causes of out-of-wedlock births and do something about rebuilding America's families, we can forget about being a world superpower.