Frank J. Fleming

The same U.S. government that got man to the moon is now teamed with GM to get you to the corner store... for $41,000. But Consumer Reports has blasted the Chevy Volt as a car that "doesn't make any sense... is not particularly efficient as an electric vehicle, not particularly good as a gas vehicle, and a tough sell to the average consumer." That seems a bit harsh. Aren't some people going to root for those underdogs GM and the U.S. government in trying to make a plug-in hybrid? Sure, it may cost more than and not be as efficient as the other options out there, but at least give credit to GM for trying hard. And while $41,000 may seem like a lot, GM is taking a loss at that price, so they feel your pain.

Really, it's a lot better car than some people are giving it credit for. Just look at some of its great features:

TOP TEN GREAT FEATURES OF THE CHEVY VOLT

10. The Chevy Volt is carbon neutral (if the car is filled with dirt and a hole is cut in the roof so a tree can grow out of it).

9. The Chevy Volt will improve the U.S.'s standing in the world, because if that’s the best U.S. Government Motors can do, there's no reason for other countries to feel threatened.

8. The Chevy Volt is made for the green lifestyle, because its 5-hour charge time gives you time to sort your recyclables, change the incandescent light bulbs in your house to CFLs, install solar panels on your roof, and watch An Inconvenient Truth….all before hitting the road!

7. The absurdly high price tag of the Chevy Volt shows your dedication to a green lifestyle.

6. The Chevy Volt can help regenerate our ocean’s depleted coral reefs with only a modest decrease in re-sale value.

5. Since the government is used to paying $600 for a hammer, getting a car’s cost down to $41,000 is actually pretty good for them.

4. The Chevy Volt is a great car for a parent to give to teenagers, as the charge time means they have to give five hours’ notice before going anywhere, and you can rest assured they're not going to go very far.

3. The Chevy Volt has greater fuel efficiency the less you drive it. The Volt is even comparable in fuel efficiency to a bicycle if you never drive it at all.

2. GM’s strategy of making the Chevy Volt unappealing to consumers is financially sound, since GM loses money on each Volt is sells.

1. The Chevy Volt’s inconvenience and cost encourage the greenest activity of all: Staying home.

See? No wonder they sold over 280 of them last month.


Frank J. Fleming

Political satirist Frank J. Fleming is the author of the HarperCollins e-books "How to Fix Everything in America Forever: The Plan to Keep America Awesome" and “Obama: The Greatest President in the History of Everything”. He also writes columns for the New York Post and PJ Media and posts at his blog IMAO.us. He is the U.S.'s leading proponent of nuking the moon.