From all I have been able to discern, the environmentalists' preferred tactic for reducing fossil fuel is to reduce our reliance on the automobile. They advise more reliance on mass transportation, which strikes me as hypocritical. Most environmentalists would be decidedly uncomfortable traveling with the rest of us in public conveyances. Given the fact that riding subways, buses and trains means constant close contact with one's fellow Americans, the average environmentalist will become even more irritable than usual. There must be other environmentally friendly vehicles in America's atmospherically salubrious future, vehicles that will allow environmentalists and ordinary Americans their "space," as the phrase has it.
We know environmentalists often ride bicycles, and I can see why bicycles suit them. The bicyclist is the exalte of the road. The bicyclist is neither a pedestrian nor a driver. He cycles where he damn well wants to, on the sidewalk or on the street. He flashes by with his posterior in the air. Neither stop signs nor speed limits impede him -- and he is environmentally beneficent. Automobiles have to give him a wide berth, and pedestrians leap aside as he pedals past. Environmentalists adore bicycles.
So the bicycle seems to be the ultimate green vehicle. Doubtless you will be seeing more of them, despite their limited capacity for bearing bossy bumper stickers. In the present presidential campaign, do not be surprised if the Democratic candidates eventually conduct their campaigns from a bicycle. Bill and Hillary probably will be seen on a bicycle built for two -- Hillary on the front seat, Bill on the back, where his eyes will be free to wander.
Yet I have still another environmentally friendly vehicle to commend to our Democratic friends. Consider the pogo stick. It certainly would keep the candidates in the news. It is as independent of fossil fuel as the bicycle and frankly a hell of a lot of fun. Hillary would be a tremendous hit on a pogo stick, and all the other candidates would follow dutifully. It would put bounce into their campaigns. The Secret Service might fear for the effectiveness of its officers, but what the hell. We are talking about preventing an environmental nightmare. I pass on.