WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The political news from Washington has become an absolute epicurean delight. If I dine more sumptuously on the Foley Follies I shall be in danger of becoming crapulent. Of course, we need not dwell on the Hon. Foley. Days ago this pathetico became only a peripheral figure in this delightful story.
Revolve this in your mind. The Democratic Party, that is to say, the party of homosexual rights and homosexual marriage, is hounding the Republican Party, that is the party of family values, for extending due process to one of its own, the Hon. Foley, a homosexual Republican congressman, once a Democrat and the founder of south central Florida's Lettuce Patch Restaurant. Parents, even vegetarian parents, will want to steer their young as far away as possible from that cutely named restaurant.
Precisely what were the Republicans to do about the Hon. Foley? On this the Democrats are unclear once their indignant oaths fall silent. Apparently the dull House Speaker Dennis Hastert was supposed to have been monitoring his colleagues on the Hill and leapt to action at the first sign that one was sending dirty messages to pages -- though it is only slowly becoming known even by us readers of the vigilant American press who those pages are, how old they were and whether they were baiting Foley for sport.
The Democrats have several other problems. They are the party that let the Hon. Gerry Studds remain in Congress for more than a decade after he seduced a male page with booze. About the time he was caught a Republican congressman from the Midwest was accused of seducing a female page. The Republican was not re-nominated. And then there is the Hon. Barney Frank, a beacon of virtue and intelligence in the House of Representatives to this day. It was discovered some years back that a homosexual friend of his was running a house of ill repute out of Frank's Washington apartment. What did the Democrats do about these indiscretions?