Emmett Tyrrell

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A rainbow of happiness has just arched across this great capital. It is about time. For several weeks, life here has been glum. The Democrats are very indignant. The Republicans are apparently stunned. This has been a dreary time to be in Washington.
 
First the Democrats went into full howl about President George W. Bush's intention to nominate like-minded judges to the federal judiciary. Then they decided that his nominee to be ambassador to the United Nations, John Bolton, was not a nice person. Finally their No. 2 in the Senate, Sen. Dick Durbin, compared American troops serving abroad to Nazis and Communists, and the Democrats closed ranks around this modern-day Daniel Webster. The Republicans can only cringe.

 Whew, these are difficult times for those of us who expect a laugh or two out of politics. Yet happiness is back. We can laugh again. The irrepressible Sen. Joe Biden has announced on CBS's "Face the Nation" that he is seeking the presidency. He thought about running in 2004, but feared he had gotten the presidential itch too late. Dr. Howard Dean was already a shoo-in. Now he only has Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton to worry about, and Sen. Biden apparently is not all that worried. Perhaps he shares my childlike belief that the American people are becoming impatient with liars. Sen. Clinton has been caught lying so many times by independent counsels and others that the American people will give her candidacy short shrift.

 So what words will the golden-throated senator choose when he announces his formal candidacy? How about, "I am running for president of the United States and have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat"? Perhaps that would be too solemn. Maybe he will say, "You have nothing to fear but fear itself. So I am running for president." Keep it light. Or he might attempt the hortatory mode, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall because I am running for president." Or, "Reporting for duty, and I am running for president."

 You might recall that Sen. Biden ran once before, seeking the 1988 Democratic presidential nomination. Within no time, he was caught plagiarizing from the stock speech of Neil Kinnock, who was then hidden away in London as leader of Britain's Labour Party. Soon it was discovered that he had also plagiarized from other little known figures, Robert Kennedy, Hubert Humphrey and the Rev. Jesse Jackson. I have forgotten what lines he pilfered from Jackson. Conceivably it was the one about his coming from "the outhouse to the White House." I doubt he used Jesse's line about New York being "Hymietown." But anything is possible. This is a longtime Democrat we are talking about.


Emmett Tyrrell

R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr. is founder and editor in chief of The American Spectator and co-author of Madame Hillary: The Dark Road to the White House.
 
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