Emmett Tyrrell

        Franken's book is titled "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right." The title proved to be somewhat of an embarrassment, for after the book came out grousing that President George W. Bush and many popular conservative commentators are liars, Franken had to apologize publicly for lying to Attorney General John Ashcroft, one of his bugbears, and a dozen or so other frightening members of the Bush clique -- for instance, Condoleezza Rice. The oaf had misrepresented himself as an associate of Harvard's Shorenstein Center in writing Ashcroft to inquire about the attorney general's immediate post-pubescent sex life. He claimed other high government officials had responded to similar letters with intimate details. Ever since the Pants Down Presidency of his idol, Bill Clinton, Franken has been a devotee of other people's bathrooms. Actually, no one responded to his letters.

        As for the book itself, it is a rewrite of various talking points originating at the Democratic National Committee. The talking points disagree with Republican talking points so Franken concludes those who hold to the Republican positions are "liars." That he would insist that lying is a grave wrong reveals much about his childish lack of self-awareness. He has spent over a decade slavishly devoted to the only president in American history ever to be impeached for lying under oath. In fact, though Clinton is famous for being a sexual predator, he is even more famous for being a liar. Only an extremely obtuse ignoramus would make such an issue of mendacity while adulating the Boy President.

        Of course, as with the Boy President, Franken is himself an obvious victim of arrested adolescence. In his book, he displays the adolescent's imprisonment in pop culture, his narcissism and his emotionalism. Along with ignorance and philistinism, Franken's most obvious intellectual shortcoming is that when he contemplates politics, he becomes emotional. This can be very amusing. For instance, it is obvious from at least two chapters in his book that he has become emotionally involved with images of conservative pundit Ann Coulter, despite the fact that he is I am told a married man.

        Such chapter titles as "Ann Coulter: Nutcase" and "You Know Who I Don't Like? Ann Coulter" only remind the discerning mind of Franken's deep-seated longing for the willowy blonde. His rants about her become uncomfortable to read for those of us who shy away from intimate awareness of another's infirmities. With the slightest provocation, Franken returns to his idee fixe, Fair Right-Thinking Ann, the beauty who will not give jowly, humorless Al the time of day. Which raises another shortcoming of 2004's Coogler laureate: billed as a humorist, he is but a clown.

Emmett Tyrrell

R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr. is founder and editor in chief of The American Spectator and co-author of Madame Hillary: The Dark Road to the White House.
TOWNHALL DAILY: Be the first to read Emmett Tyrrell's column. Sign up today and receive Townhall.com daily lineup delivered each morning to your inbox.
©Creators Syndicate