To be positive, here’s what I recommend that we do, going forward, to greatly reduce the likelihood of this ever occurring again:
1. Dear NSA: Since you guys like to snoop, why don’t you peel away from hacking blue-haired, Presbyterian, Tea Party grannies' email accounts for awhile and, I don’t know, maybe poke around a bit into the in-box of the criminally insane? Alexis had a military disciplinary record that included disorderly conduct, defiance, unexcused absences and hearing voices.
His dull friends and relatives have also pointed out that he had a preoccupation with the 9/11 attacks, felt “screwed over” as a veteran, had money problems, and hated the U.S.
His police record records that this idiot had rage blackouts, shot his neighbors tires out and popped a cap in his neighbor’s apartment because she was too loud for his tastes. Oh, and right before he went full moron he created a web-page named “Mohammed Salem” But somehow, some way, you missed this cat that was waving more red flags than a Chinese parade. It’s kind of similar to how you missed the Boston Bombers and Nadil Malik Hassan. No offense, of course.
2. Dear friends and family members: If you knew all that crap about Aaron, then why didn’t you tase that SOB, duct tape him and then transport Woody Woodpecker to an exorcist or to that insane asylum that they put Hannibal Lecter in? Geez, people. Really? Look, I know you want to be positive and an encourager to those going through a rough patch, but this cat clearly had derailed and you did squat about it. Good luck sleeping at night, jackasses.
3. Dear Therapeutic community: Can we get back to scraping frontal lobes and administering electroshock to those who’re violent and talk to Labradoodles? I know it’s brutal, but it’s not as cruel as having to bury twelve innocent people because you released this high-octane zombie with high-octane dope back into the public arena.
4. And lastly, Dear President Obama: How about allowing our military on our military bases to carry their military weapons? Sure Alexis might have gotten off a shot, but it would have been, probably, just one round before our elite forces would have made Swiss cheese out of that foul weed.
If my advice were heeded, I'm betting that we wouldn’t be forced to know many more like Aaron Alexis.
What do you think America?
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