Doug Giles

One family, comprised of a dad, whom the scientists have named Trog, a wife they’ve named Noota, a son they’re calling Grot and a daughter they call Boota, were a hunting family that perished in the volcano eruption but died with smiles on their faces and sported robust skeletal structures and had several nice fossilized spears and kudu skulls scattered about their lair.

The other cave dwellers the scientists found during this dig are believed to be a lesbian couple that they have named Tonda and Rosie. Interestingly, and in contrast to Trog’s family, the two female cavewomen were found frozen in time, frowning while drawing an angry pictograph against the Neanderthal Spear Hunting Association.

Archeologists also said they found what appears to be two adopted cave kids in that dwelling who looked bored out of their skulls and appeared to have perished in the eruption while climbing out of their cave and heading toward Trog’s dwelling. Scientists also said they found in Tonda and Rosie’s cave what appear to be softball jerseys hanging on stalagmites and no sign of any cool taxidermy work.

How do I segue out of that one? How’s this? In my wonderful world of hunting, where families are intimately involved, the kids are the antithesis of the aforementioned case studies. Our hunting lifestyle demands of young ‘uns respect, manners, discipline, a recognition of hierarchy, wisdom, togetherness, camaraderie, cooperation, benevolence and interdependent life skills with man, land and critters on an enlightened, circle of life plane.

So, hunting families, let the blowhards condemn our pursuits. We know the true value hunting adds to global economies, to our sacred hunting lands, and to the real preservation of our earth’s magnificent resources and, most importantly, how it anchors and bonds those families and friends involved on a primal, if not sacred, level.

Sorry but I’ve got to cut this column short because I’m busy planning a bear hunt with my kid in Alaska with four Purple Heart recipients in some of the most God-blessed turf this planet has to offer.

For more fodder on hunting with your family, buy Doug's book, Raising Righteous and Rowdy Girls.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.