I hate New Year’s resolutions. The reason? Well, it’s not so much the well-meaning, lofty—yet ofttimes delusional—resolutions many of us spout off at midnight (wasted, of course) … it’s because of the lack of sober follow through once January 1st smacks us in the face. Yep, as Al Gore once famously said, amidst all our good intentions, “it’s hard for a zebra to change its spots.” More than likely most of us will revert back to the way we’ve always been.
I, however, have determined with William Wallace-like resolve that this year will be an evolution for me. I might even change my name, like to an animal’s name or to a mythological critter like a famous centaur or something. That would be cool. I don’t know yet. To help me decide, my buddy John C. Reilly and I are going to roast a stogie and do a brainstorming session mañana for my new evolutionary nomenclature. Stay tuned.
Anyway, for 2011 I am dead set to morph from being a pretty good conservative gadfly to the lunatic Left to becoming an even more annoying source of angst for the liberals amongst us. Why? Well, the stakes are too high for conservatives to remain nice. Additionally, the folks who voted for BHO’s vapid crap are slowly waking up and need encouragement and feisty apologetics now. But mainly, destroying, ridiculing, and exposing the multitudinous liberal lies and honking hypocrisies from the Hope & Change wizards is more fun than burning ants for me.
To help me in this noble quest, James Delingpole, a Brit with true grit, my brother from another mother, and best-selling author of Welcome to Obamaland: I Have Seen Your Future and It Doesn’t Work, has penned a book to help me chart the course to be even more mordant with the libmonkeys who’re currently peeing on our great land: 365 Ways to Drive a Liberal Crazy.
Delingpole, in this pole-axing tome, encourages the conservative, libertarian and recovering democrat to go for the jugular vein of the socialist ingrates who’re giddy to gut our nation of its exceptionalism. James exhorts the reader to annoy the annoyers, to quit being nicer than Christ and get into the verbal fray and demolish the diminishing few who still inhale Obama’s ganja through jokes, facts, arguments and outrageous rumors. Don’t worry, this task will be easy and God will help you succeed in this venture because, as James points out: