No, for Dawn, we must pray, be more “mature,” take the high road, wait a million years, come through the front door with a press pass around our neck, and tell the twisted that the USA and Jesus would really appreciate it if ACORN and Planned Parenthood would confess their sins, close down their operations, and become a Ben & Jerry’s.

Here’s my take on whether or not Jesus and the Bible are cool with deceit for righteous purposes. First off, when I’m talking about Jesus, I’m talking about the one in the Bible who methodically made a whip and beat the religious hucksters out of the temple (that’s not very Christlike, eh Dawn?), purposely picked fights with sanctimonious toads and political pukes, and instructed his disciples to be “shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves” (Mt. 10:16). Or, as my King Doug Contra Mundus Translation interprets the original Greek text, “be as clever as the Devil.” Yep, good old Jesus said it’s okay to imitate the serpent in regard to cleverness; just be righteous in spirit and desired goals.

From what I know from my own serious Christian kid and O’Keefe (as well as Rose, via several interviews with her), their motivations were pure in that they wanted to sink these two sucky organizations—organizations, mind you, that are on tape aiding and abetting underage prostitution, home loans for multiple whorehouses, money laundering, tax fraud, millions of abortions, and not just any old abortions but abortions for underage girls (without their parents’ knowledge or consent) who have been the victims of statutory rape.

The reason I believe Jesus wouldn’t give a flip about these three heroes’ mad methods but would instead applaud their efforts is because the Scripture doesn’t condemn:

• Rahab, a real whore, for her sleight of hand with the Canaanites
• Gideon’s pretense with his small army
• Abraham’s lie regarding his wife
• King David’s feigned madness before King Achish.

Real life is war, sweetie pie, and I hate to burst your smug balloon, my dear Dawn, but sometimes playing dirty for noble reasons is the right thing to do.

With Eden’s edict banning deception, it follows that Christian cops couldn’t do their fabulous undercover work; Christian soldiers couldn’t wear deceptive camo or take on local dress in order to whack the Taliban; Christian CIA ops would have to wear dove and fish T-Shirts instead of their Simon Templar garb; and the amazing Christians who lied to the murderous Nazis would all be uniformly condemned for fibbing about the whereabouts of precious Jews they were hiding.

Lastly, Dawn, at the end of the day, I believe Hannah, James and Lila will get mad applause in heaven as they are here on earth for exposing ACORN and Planned Parenthood’s hellish practices. I know, as a Christian, I prefer their ways of doing things to your way of not doing them. Amen.