I’m a rabid heterosexual. There, I said it. I’m outing myself. I know it’s not cool in this gay day to like the opposite sex. And I’m sure there will be those reflexively irate gays who will call me latent. As far as I can tell, however, I’m straight and wholeheartedly love the fact that God blessed us boys with girls. Yep, good job with the girlies, God, and muchas gracias, Señor Yahweh, for creating the chicas bonitas. In the immortal words of Borat, “I like. Very nice.” Call me weird.
As far as I am concerned, the lovely lady lumps, in all their shapes and sizes, trump a dude any old day. Yep, I guess I didn’t get the “gay gene.” (By the way, the only gay genes that I know of are the ones Versace makes.)
So … don’t ever look for me to switch teams, as I am completely and giddily content—yea, even prideful—about my heterosexuality.
Having said that, I don’t think it’s proper for me or other heterosexuals to push the following on children in the public school system:
• Sexually explicit heterosexual cartoons,
• Pornographic heterosexual kiddie books,
• Freaky heterosexual sex kits,
• Stories about heterosexual rape,
• Or directories for straight teens regarding where to hook up with old, straight creepers (hello!)
I, personally, would like all children everywhere to forego hearing about foreplay, penchants and peccadilloes until they at least hit 18-months old. Geez, people. Why can’t we let the kids just ride their bikes and pick their noses without trying to turn them into Jenna Jameson or Ron Jeremy before they get their braces off?
Which leads me, the heterosexual, to ask you, the homosexuals out there, this question: Do you have any problem whatsoever with the gay “Safe Schools” Czar Kevin Jennings and his now well-known, beyond bizarre reading list from hell for American kids? I know I do. I can’t even read what is in these books out loud on my show because the FCC will come over to my studio and cut my mic off.
What the heck is wrong with Kevin Jennings and GLSEN? Why do he and his rabid gay group insist on the overt and perverse homosexualization of K-12ers? That’s pretty jacked up, if you ask me. And not only is it jacked up to little old heterosexual me but to some homosexuals as well.
For instance, when I floated my column last week regarding Kevin the Lech and his GLSEN goons’ sexually warped lit directory from Satan’s abyss, I heard from gay men across the nation that they also think GLSEN and Jennings should shut the heck up and peel out of the public school system with their vile, paranormal porno for kiddos.
For instance, here’s an excerpt from an email I received from a homosexual man named Fred:
“… I am so embarrassed and frustrated over what I see in the media today, trying to make abnormal behavior normal… I see no need for kids to need to even explore issues of homosexuality conceptually until middle school, and sexually even later, if at all, in school.
Feel free to quote me!
Yep, not just the buckle-shoed, puritanical heterosexual killjoys like me but even a few homosexuals believe that books like Queer 13, Being Different, The Full Spectrum, Revolutionary Voices, Reflections of a Rock Lobster, Passages of Pride, Growing Up Gay/Growing Up Lesbian, The Order of the Poison Oak, In Your Face, Mama’s Boy, Preacher’s Son, Love & Sex: Ten Stories of Truth have no place around our kids in our public schools.
If you don’t think these tasteless tomes are vile, check ‘em out for yourself here. Brace yourselves, people. I’m warning you.
Finally, for the reader who thinks kids should be kids and not turned into sexual zombies via Jennings and his GLSEN gang, you can raze hell now and join the 12 conservative organizations that sent a letter to the Senate Committee on Health, Education, Labor and Pensions demanding that Obama’s Safe Schools Czar Kevin Jennings be fired. You can help out, too, by contacting the committee yourself here. And you can contact your representative or senator here and demand that Kevin be canned.
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