Doug Giles

Is this the same flock that does not, how would you say . . . “embrace” . . . your radical stances on abortion and isn’t too cool with your proposed federal funding for abortion in your unread Health Care legislation?

Are these Christians the very ones whom the darling liberal organization, the ACLU, regularly threatens to sue when they pray over a meal at school or say something remotely conservative from the pulpit, or on TV, or on the radio? Shouldn’t Barry Lynn be on TV right now moaning and groaning about the separation of church and state? Where are you Barry, you little Nancy boy? C’mon Lynn, condemn the president, you gutless girlfriend. Sorry, I got in the flesh there. Let me resume my query.

Would this be the faithful crowd your twerps have referred to as the Taliban, Nazis, unpatriotic mobs, or the folks the Department of Homeland Security advises should be watched for potential terrorist attacks against our God-blessed nation? Huh?

Lastly, is this the same group of Christians whom Pelosi, the Left-bent mainstream media, liberal Hollywood, the blogosphere and liberal comedians summarily whiz on at every opportunity? Would that be the bunch you’d wish to cheerlead for Thy cause? Because if it be, B-HO, you might find yourself SOL, namely, sure outta luck. You want us to support you? Yeah, and people in hell want ice water. Ain’t gonna happen.

Obama is using the God mallet in his awkward, frantic attempts to sway the masses, the same mallet that clobbered Bush when he used it. Come on, MSNBC, Obama’s talking like a theocrat. Go get him! He’s yammering on about God, morals and sin! WTH? Why are you so silent, Bill Maher? Christopher Hitchens, where’s your outrage, old chap?

Obama’s calling Christians. Now that’s funny, I don’t care who you are. What’s next? Is B-HO going to call the NRA for support? Or maybe he’s going to give the Jewish community a jingle (because this Hamas-endorsed president is no pal of Israel). What? He already did? I told you so. It’s just a matter of time before our cocoa Chrysostom rings Lapierre for a little health care yak.

Regarding WWJD: Well, from what I gather from the Gospels, Jesus didn’t heal everybody and was definitely no fan of the big government that eventually killed Him. Selah. And if we’re going to ponder His divine thoughts about health care, what about His other stuff like salvation, sin, sacrifice and obedience? Do I here crickets chirping? Dipsticks.

And lastly—forgive me for rambling—my advice to pastors contemplating prodding congress to pass this 1,100-page diaper wipe: I hope you’re close with Obama because you might need him for a bailout. Yep, I’m afraid that if your congregation finds out about your giddiness over His Highness’ health edict you’re going to see a drop in your attendance and a big slash in your tithe when they discover you stand behind this socialistic mess.

Church, understand this: What Obama did this past week in giving us a buzz was a booty call. Nothing more and nothing less than a call for relief from someone who is not getting what he wants to those he thinks are stupid and thus easy.

(And please check out my tasty music video homage to Obama’s administration here on YouTube.)

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.