Doug Giles

While we were there we saw several eco-tourist anti-gun morons with cans of bear spray holstered to their hips to use if a grizzly should decide to snack on them. Bear spray? Are you kidding me? A 1,000 lb bear coming at you at 40 mph will blow right through a cloud of cayenne en route to stomp a mud hole in your chest. Screw bear spray and 30/06s. As for me and my house, we will use at a minimum a .375 H&H Magnum, thank you very much. I recommend the big .40 cals. You see, when I interface with that which can kill me, not only do I want to kill it first, but I also want to stun it, break its bones and knock it down and out as I send it on to bear heaven.

What’s my ham-fisted spiritual lesson from this point? In life if you are going to go for your “trophy,” whatever it is, you’d better go big. Bring your big guns to the table of life. Life is brutal, and if your goal or desire is truly noble, you’ll encounter plenty of opposition in your path ready to pummel you into a grease stain. Never go after your prize under-gunned because you could have your butt handed to you. (Y’know, kinda like the pea shooting GOP did in the last election.)

3. Follow Your Master Guide. One thing that I’ve learned in nearly 47 years of schlepping this pebble is to bow to the true experts in their fields. That’s why I don’t try to teach my wife how to cook, or my Tae Kwon Do instructor how to fight and why I didn’t advise my master bear guide Wayne Woods on how to do his job. As stated, grizzlies are deadly (ask Timothy Treadwell), and some of the terrain we trod was dangerous. It would have been arrogant, stupid and fatal to turn a deaf ear to this man who regularly interfaces with death.

This is why I don’t listen to the Liberal statists or the numb nut RINOs who are currently mucking up our nation and party and instead turn my ear to our nation’s original framers and fathers; they’re the master guides who spawned this amazing American experiment. Our current crop of dweebs thinks we can blow off our Constitution and principles of liberty and not be turned into bear crap. Screw them. I’m kicking it old school with Hamilton, Jefferson, Madison and Paine. In addition, as a Christian, I’ll stick with Moses and Jesus and summarily ignore the capitulating crowd of evangelical weenies who for cash and praise have dissed the ancient path and are headed for the jaws of the beast.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.