Doug Giles

Some dolt is thinking right now while reading this, “this Memphis High School stuff ain't no new or big thang! Kids will be kids. Why, when we were young we went wild, had sex and got drunk . . . blah, blah, blah.” Okay, I’ll grant you that. But it wasn’t during home room. And it wasn’t in front of our teachers, principals and parents (they would have broken our teeth). And when we were young one quarter of all teenage girls didn’t have some STD growing mold on or around their privy parts (50% of black teenage girls have an STD! 50%, boys. Forget the condom. Get a Hazmat suit). Yes, Slingblade, I beg to differ with you: There is a big difference from our day and today, both in the purveyance of porn and the disease-based penalties one pays for participation.

Look, if I were a teenager today I would not be sexually active. The reason being? Well, I’d like to say it would be solely motivated because I was “on fire” for God, but I’d be lying. It would be because I wouldn’t want to be “on fire” with a festering, cauliflowered, pus-laden, reoccurring sore showing up on my wedding tackle for the rest of my life. But that’s just me.

So, who can we blame for this month’s “Rape Dat Ho” public school show? Well, I blame first and foremost the kids themselves. Look, Lube Skywalker, no matter how much your life might suck and no matter how confused you are, you’re still responsible for getting a life and acting civilly. If I were you I’d take all that time you have obviously utilized in perfecting shaking that thang and use it to learn how to read and write. That is if you want to be able to sign your unemployment check post graduation.

In addition, I fault the parents of these paranormal little people. Thanks for not doing your job, dillweeds. Also, major props go to rap and hip hop horn dogs who have coarsened our culture exponentially. You guys have added nothing to our country except making it more base and vile.

And lastly, I’d like to condemn the timid teachers at Mitchell High and their incompetent administrators who did not have the decency nor the courage to stand up against this public display of impropriety squared when they were looking at it right in the eye.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.