Doug Giles

The words “change” and “Jesus” are being tossed around in this election more than Lindsay Lohan was by those three Italian dudes last New Year’s Eve. I’m getting burned out hearing both the word change and the name Jesus, and I like them both.

And I’m not the only one, either.

I heard yesterday that Jesus himself has just filed a request to change his name to Jesse because he’s so tired of hearing it dropped and his quotes being ripped out of context by politicians who didn’t give him the time of day until the elections came around.

Hillary and Barack have been beating the change drum like a coked up Keith Moon, now haven’t they?

Yes, the electric Barack Obama is hip to change, ladies and gents. Heck, he’s even placarded “change” on his podium. And Brian Williams and some other NBC dweebs are simply giddy like a bunch of school girls over his charisma. Meow Williams. That’s pretty Will and Grace, Brian ol’ boy. Extremely rollerbladerish, if you know what I mean.

BO is putting it out to the people that he is change crazy! Why do some people think that this junior state senator with the middle name Hussein can bring the alteration our nation needs? Well, it’s because he’s a sharp and powerful speaker. Oh yeah? So is the Bose bass amp in my FJ Cruiser. I believe people also said the same thing about Jim Jones. I’m not certain. I’m going to google it right after I shoot my neighbor’s cat with a BB gun.

Hillary, the Left’s femme fatale, is also peddling the whole “it’s time for a cool change” spiel, to which I say, hahahahahahahahaha. That’s funny Hillary! What are you really going to do? C’mon now . . . be serious.

I know in this day of ParisHiltonitis words don’t really mean that much, but for some of us fastidious folks we’d like the various candidates and their groupies, especially on the left, to clearly define what they mean when they Frisbee a word into the political fray such as “change.”

When you say “change,” do you guys mean:

• That our kids can once again start their day at public school with a moment of silence to pray and not have an ACLU laced atheist scream verboten?

• That we make English the official language of the United States of America, forever ending the automated “press 1 for English” prompt? Is that what you’re talking about? Because if you are, I’m cool with that.

• That we shrink our bloated government down like Star Jones after she had her paunch gut stapled?

• That we never have the reality of al Qaeda wanting to al-Kill Us scrubbed from our nation’s mind?

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.