Doug Giles

For generations women have been the victims of ham-fisted groping dipsticks and/or felonious opportunists who see in our fairer sex an easy target. However, those days are a changin’, and being the father of two chicas, I’m one happy over-protective, I’ll-kill-you-if-you-hurt-them-and-not-bat-an-eye dad.

It seems as if the girls are waking up to the fact that:

1. Their protective dad, brother, husband and male buddies aren’t omnipresent.

2. They can’t count on some metrosexual puss-n-boots Nancy boy to break a fingernail if need be to assist them.

3. Therefore, they have to be able to personally kick maximum butt if the situation arises.

Yep, in the last couple of decades we’ve seen a spike in ladies taking martial arts, buying guns, sending bullets down range, getting concealed weapon permits, and purchasing other idiot immobilizing devices as they send a solid message to the solid waste amongst us: “If you climb in my face, I will drown you in mace, shatter your knees, or double tap your center mass.”

Hey fathers, husbands, brothers and male friends who care: Are you cool with the girls in your life being defenseless? I’m not. I can’t imagine anything with my name on it and within my circle of influence being the victim of some pathetic, vile beast’s stupid fantasy. That would slay me.

So, being the decent husband and dad that I am, my goal for my girls has been to equip them to be armed and dangerous. And armed and dangerous they are. They scare me. Italian and lethal. Yikes. Mission accomplished. So much so that I’d think twice, twit, before you attempt a carjack, cop a feel, or physically threaten them in any way, as it will be the last stupid thing you ever do.

Being born and raised in Texas and reared by proper parents, my weapon of choice has always been the gun, in all calibers, gauges, actions and styles. I love them all. My particular penchant is for the old British bolt actions, double rifles and single shot Farquharsons (I’m starting to get all emotional even as I type). As you can imagine I have a stack of them, and my ladies know how to wield them all. We get high on cordite.

I understand, however, that guns freak some folks out, and for whatever reason they don’t want them around. That doesn’t mean that you have to be helpless. There are all kinds of yummy things you can use to put an imbecile out of action. Take the taser, for instance.

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.