Listen, Tiny, God’s name/names are significant. Remember the “hallowed be Thy name” stuff the real Jesus taught in the Bible? I assume you had to at least scan the scripture at one time before you got that collar and started going around saying such stupid things in public. Listen, Father Feelgood, do a little word search regarding God’s name and see if He cares what you call Him before you queue up with your craziness.
You will quickly find in this little exercise that God’s name[s] denote His nature, His character, His person and His work. Much like yours, Señor Muskens. Let’s break down your name: Tiny Muskens. Tiny, meaning very small, minute and wee. And Muskens, derived from the root word “musk,” meaning a smelly greasy secretion, as well as an artificial imitation of the substance.
Why stop with just a simple name change, Tiny? Let’s remodel everything we do to suit radical Muslims. I mean, we don’t want to upset them now, do we?
To foster peace and Rodney Kingishness [can’t we all get along?] we could do things such as . . .
1. Start calling our churches mosques.
2. We could call Jesus “Slappy White” because Slappy was a beautiful person, a great jazz guitarist—and he made some tasty BBQ ribs.
3. Yank the steeples off the roofs or our churches and replace them with gold domes.
4. Start circumcising our young girls.
5. Start killing homosexuals, adulterers and thieves.
6. Start oppressing women.
7. Fling open our borders.
8. Disband the TSA, NSA, FBI and CIA.
9. Start hating Israel.
10. Start hating America.
11. Grow long beards.
12. Scrap Christmas for a Mohammed’s Birthday Blow Out Bonanza.
13. Replace Easter with Ramadan.
14. Bring on the burkhas.
15. Become liberals. And . . .
16. We could all start wearing Tiny Muskens’ new Butt Kisser Lip Balm.