Doug Giles

1. Get a sense of humor. Most liberal profs and student activists are a screeching, nerve grating, nasally bunch of whiners. As a matter of fact, I’d rather watch Janet Reno do jumping jacks and hack squats in Borat’s thong than listen to the hemp clothed, goatee bearing, chunky liberal bleat.

Therefore, conservative student, when you queue up to address your crowd, be pleasant, poke fun at yourself, remove the whine from your voice and use honed humor to humiliate the left. Getting folks to laugh at your opponents and not being rabid about taking yourself so seriously helps get your point across. To upgrade your general funniness, get Judy Carter’s book, Stand Up Comedy.

2. Get creative. God bless technology. Conservative rebels, you have at your fingertips the wherewithal to go creatively crazy for the cause of God and country with the real possibility of a stack of people seeing and hearing what you have got to offer.

Therefore, get nutty with your stuff. Utilize these amazing techno tools to tackle the tools on the left. Take your gift, your talent, your voice and your God-wired weirdness and, every now and then, put something artistic out there that’ll overtly or covertly slam dance the secularists who seek to sabotage our society. To upgrade your competitive creativity get Chasing Cool by Noah Kerner and Gene Pressman.

3. Get tough. One thing that drives me nuts about some Sally’s on the right is their bemoaning how they get attacked when they go public in the classroom with their sentiments. Whaa! What did you think the Ward Churchill’s were going to do, clap? Buy you candy? Wash your undercarriage? Look, not-so-sharp-holder-of-traditional-values, we’re in a very real culture war. The _ _ _ _ will hit the fan when you counter the liberal crud in the classroom. Embrace it. Suck it up. Get tough. Let adversity be your Wheaties, the breakfast of champions! If you want to upgrade your resiliency, get my book, The Bulldog Attitude: Get It or Get Left Behind.

4. Get prayerful. Most folks on the ludicrous left who embrace what 21st century Dhimmocrats currently spew are admitted atheists. Seeing that they don’t believe in the God who is, I’m a guessin’ they are probably not down the funnel with the discipline of prayer. That is, until they’re about to die. Then, of course, they start praying like Chris Tucker freshly filled with the Holy Ghost and fire. Since they refuse to believe and pray to God, they have no supernatural help in their hapless cause. At least no positive supernatural help, because we all know demons love to assist these guys. But I digress. . .

Doug Giles

Doug Giles is the Big Dawg at and the Co-Owner of The Safari Cigar Company. Follow him onFacebook and Twitter. And check out his new book, Rise, Kill and Eat: A Theology of Hunting from Genesis to Revelation.